Y’all. I have a confession to make. I don’t know how to build a snowman. Every time I try, it ends up looking more like a snowmonster than a snowman. Maybe I’m the Dr. Frankenstein of snowbeings? Close to human but…not quite there. Let’s just hope none of my creations come to life.
This is how someone like me, who has never lived in a place where it snows before, prepares for a snowstorm.
1. I check out a LOT of books from the library.
2. I make sure I am well stocked with gummi worms, cheese and crackers, and red wine.
3. I buy a new super fancy (and warm!) blanket.
4. I do laundry so I can wear all of my clothes at the same time.
5. I make sure my doomsday prep bag is within arms reach at all times.
6. I spend hours adding to my Netflix queue.
7. I complain to anyone who will listen about how I am not used to this type of weather.
8. I cry in the vain hope that somehow the weather will take pity on me and decide not to snow and also to make it spring immediately.
9. I waste a lot of time googling how to prepare for a snowstorm.
10. I pretend this isn’t going to happen the same way I pretended I was going to win the billion dollar powerball.
Stay warm and stay safe peeps, no matter where you are !
If there is ever a holiday dedicated to me, this is what I want you to do on that day.
1. Read a good book.
2. Do something kind for someone else.
3. Laugh so hard your stomach hurts and/or you get the hiccups.
4. Eat a delicious meal.
Putting this out into the universe just in case.
I had a sinus and ear infection recently and when I left the doctor’s office with my prescriptions in hand, the last thing she said to me was “Don’t make meth with those.”
My first thought was “What the hell?”
My second thought was “Not a bad way to pay for grad school…”
But don’t worry, I was selfish and used the prescriptions to make me feel better. #justsayno
One of the best parts about going to grad school as a 30 year old is that all the 20-somethings keep you up to date on popular slang. For instance, I thought “Netflix and chill” meant watching Netflix and being lazy. I was wrong. It means sex.
Pretty much all the slang means sex.
Only you could have played Severus Snape with such compassion, humor, and beautiful depth.
Thank you sir.
The truth is, I never once considered the fact that David Bowie would die. I didn’t even think he *could* die. Maybe I spent too many hours watching and rewatching Labyrinth as a kid, but he always seemed immortal to me. I didn’t know him personally , but I was always stunned by his beautiful imagination. His music is surprising and delightful and poignant and everlasting. Ashes to ashes, stardust to stardust.