Last week, Captain Thoughtful was out of town at a conference for 3 days so I made a to-do list of everything I needed/wanted to get done while he was gone.
1. Start packing up our apartment
2. Make a dentist appointment
3. Get my hair trimmed
4. Work out for an hour every day
5. Eat healthy
Here is what I actually did.
1. Watched every episode of “Call the Midwife”
2. Ugly cried through most of the episodes of “Call the Midwife”
3. Ate Whataburger
I would lament my uselessness a lot more if “Call the Midwife” wasn’t such good TV. I’m pretty sure you can’t be completely useless if you’re watching good TV.
Once every couple of months, I look at myself in the mirror and think “I should have blue hair. I really want blue hair.”
I should just go for it, right?
I probably won’t though. But I totally should.
Have we ever talked about why Captain Thoughtful is called Captain Thoughtful? It’s because his superpower is thoughtfulness.
I had one of the worst nightmares of my life the other night. I was thrashing and shaking in my sleep but wasn’t able to wake myself up. Captain Thoughtful woke up, figured I was having a nightmare, and shook me awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. It was a truly horrid dream.
First thing the next day, he went out and bought me a dreamcatcher.
I mean, c’mon y’all. He is the most thoughtful person to have ever thoughtfulled.
And now I’m love mush again…..
Dear Mr. Man who was walking down 6th street as I was going to lunch at 1pm on Friday,
You have your hand in your pants. You’re walking, yet, it’s pretty clear you are also doing something else. Congrats on multi-taking! I did have a thought though…..maybe don’t? Like, proving what a good multi-tasker you are isn’t necessary. You don’t need my approval. You just need to know that you are capable of walking and doing…that. But you don’t have to actually do it. In fact, I don’t think you should. Like I said, you don’t have to prove anything to me. Just know what you’re capable of in your heart.
This is my 752nd blog post ever on this blog and Captain America opens in theaters today. Everything is coming up GotC y’all.
Ways we should all celebrate:
1. Go see Captain America and then talk about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
2. Wine popsicles.
4. Jazz hands.
5. Chili cheese burritos.
6. Do a dance that involves jazz hands after eating chili cheese burritos for dinner and having wine popsicles for dessert before going to see Captain America and then talking about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
I think y’all can guess which way I am celebrating…….
Y’all. Remember that potentially very big news I was waiting on a couple weeks back?
Well, I got it. I got the big news and I really really want to tell you what it is. But, I can’t. At least, not officially until May 31, which is like FOREVER away.
But, if you guess it……..
That wouldn’t be me telling you. That would be you beautiful geniuses guessing correctly.
So, have at it in the comments. If you guess it right, I will respond to your comment with a “BINGO”.
For the record, the big news involves NONE of the following things
- Book deal
- Dr. Who
- Chili Cheese Burritos
- Psychic abilities
Do NOT pull an April Fools prank where you tell people you are pregnant unless you are prepared to be told “I thought you looked pregnant”.
Y’all, do NOT recharge your old phones, because when you do, you will find all the texts messages your now husband sent you when you first started dating and you will relive your entire relationship and you will turn into a pile of love mush.
I know this because it happened to me last night. Basically, my old blackberry is like a love time-machine and it took me back to the days of 2011 when I met Captain Thoughtful and he sent me a text referencing Sydney Carton and I knew I was a goner if he was using literature to woo me. And then I turned into a pile of love mush. He literary wooed me y’all. He is my perfect match in every way and has never once judged me when I yell a spell from Harry Potter at the television screen.
See? I’m all a-mush.
You know the way people compulsively check their phone for texts/calls when they are waiting to hear from someone they have a crush on?
That is the way I am right now about checking my SportsCenter app for the Baylor Basketball score.
Y’all? Why can’t life be all Harry Potter and Chili Cheese Burritos? That would be so sweet.
I’m bogged down y’all. Bogged down in some major suck. And I want to be funny for you, but I can’t seem to locate my sense of humor. I assume it’s lost somewhere between “I hate my job.” and “Waiting for some potentially big news.”
Does someone have a map my sense of humor can borrow to find it’s way out of there?