A Typical Conversation

Me: Have you seen this movie?

Captain Thoughtful: I have…you made me watch it.

Me: Oh. But you still haven’t seen Titanic.

Captain Thoughtful: True. But why do you bring that up?

Me: Just to prove I don’t make you watch every movie that emotionally wrecks me.

Captain Thoughtful: The ship sinks, not sure what else I need to know.

Me: You need to know they could have both fit on that floating door!

Captain Thoughtful: Ok?

Me: I think I made my point.

How To Tell That I Am Sad – A Conversation

After a sad and disappointing thing happened…

Me: I’m just really sad.

Captain Thoughtful: I know sweetheart. Me too. It’s ok for us to be sad about this.

Me: I know but – listen, I didn’t even floss last night.

Captain Thoughtful: Oh! Oh my goodness. What can I do? Can I do anything? Tell me what you need.

And that folks, is how you know I am *really* sad. If I don’t floss, it’s basically the apocalypse and everyone is doomed. Except it wasn’t really the apocalypse, obvs, but sometimes the sad things that happen to us feel earth shattering so it was like a personal apocalypse. A tiny personal apocalypse involving two humans and a very confused but snuggly dog. Happily, those two humans love each other (and the dog) and support each other (and the dog – who is a freeloader and doesn’t even contribute financially to the family) and I only went one night without flossing so probably everything will work out in the end.

Oh, and also, this is my 1,000th post on Girl on the Contrary. What a gorgeous journey it has been and I’m looking forward to 1,000 more (if blogging is even still a thing in 7 years which is how long I assume it will take me to write 1,000 posts and probably there will be an actual apocalypse before then and if that is the case then Hail Xorbula! or whomever our alien overlords are (but my money is on Xorbula)).

What Even Just Happened? 

Checking out at the grocery store….

Cashier: (to Captain Thoughtful) Oh! Do you go to that school? 

Captain Thoughtful: No, I’m a professor there.

SIDE NOTE – Can we just shout out that people think Captain Thoughtful still looks young enough to be a student at University? I *was* a student like 3 months ago and people were all “Are you someone’s Mom?” 

Cashier: That’s awesome! (Looks at me) Are you a professor too? 

Me: No, I’m a therapist. 

Cashier: That is so cool! Can you call my brother he really needs help? 

Me: Uh….

Cashier: I’m not joking. He’s messed up. Can you call him? 

Me: I can’t do that no, but I can tell you where he could get some help. 

Cashier: Ok. Do you two have kids? 

Me: No.

Cashier: You should. You two would have the cutest baby ever. 

Then Captain Thoughtful and I left the store   (after I told her where her brother could get some mental health help) and even now, 24 hours later, I’m not sure what even happened there. It was like the weird dreams you have when you eat too much cheese before bed. Except it really happened and I didn’t even get to eat cheese. 

Did Y’all Know Dogs Like Pumpkin? 

Because I didn’t. I didn’t know dogs like pumpkin. At least, my dog, Dobby, likes pumpkin.

Check it – Captain Thoughtful and I went to a pumpkin patch to pick our own pumpkins  (like bosses) and we picked the two cutest pumpkins in the whole freaking patch. Check the cute: 

I’m pretty sure people were jealous of that adorable dark green pumpkin we picked. And, it only cost $1 so it was a hella frugal Halloween purchase. Adorable and affordable. Alas, poor pumpkin! Your cuteness was all too temporary because of an even cuter universal force – Dobby aka the pumpkin destroyer.

Anyway, I didn’t know dogs even liked pumpkins. 

For the record, Dobby was fine and didn’t even get a stomachache and also showed no remorse and so is most likely a pumpkin hungry psychopath.