Maybe its weird but I’ve always been really proud of how loud I can snap. Like, I wasn’t a kid with many talents. Mostly I was just known for making everyone really uncomfortable by asking if they has seen any ghosts or knew of any secret passages in the school. But one thing I was always better at than everyone in my class was snapping really loud. It really impressed everyone in the third grade. Surprisingly, it impresses adults less. I’m still proud of it though, other adults are probably just jealous.
On Monday a rabbit stopped right in front of me on the sidewalk. It wasn’t skittish or afraid and it definitely didn’t run away. Instead, it pooped. It stopped right in front of me and pooped.
That seems like a sign to me. Of what, I’m not sure. I asked Captain Thoughtful what he thought the universe was trying to tell me and he said “I think all it means is that when you gotta go, you gotta go.”
Wise words from a handsome man.
When you are a woman, sometimes the way your body reacts to stress is very similar to how it would react to pregnancy. Which is why I recently bought pregnancy tests in bulk. Fun fact: I’m not pregnant, just stressed.
Another fun fact: This was a bad time to give up fried foods.
How do you handle your fear? What do you do when you’re scared?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. For me, it depends on the fear. If it is illogical or very unlikely to occur, I typically rely on superstition. You know, combat nonsense with more nonsense that is totally *not* nonsense if it works. If it is a fear more likely to occur, then I construct a very logical plan and always have a back-up plan and a back-up back-up plan.
But I’m really interested in how other people battle their fear – what is your go-to fear conquering move?
Everyone measures distance by Whataburgers right? Like, “Only 6 hours from Lincoln to Whataburger”. That way, you don’t have to choose between using the metric system and English system. Everyone wins and also french fries!
Just remember that my Aunt J calls the TV show “American Ninja Warrior”, “American Ninja Turtle”. And she doesn’t do it as a joke, she just thinks that it what it’s called.
That had me laughing so hard I got the hiccups. And also, as long as people say funny things like that, and you can laugh so hard you get the hiccups, probably everything will be OK.
First of all, I’m so sorry I have been absent for so long. My only excuse is that I have been at a complete humor blank lately. Also, I was at a conference last week so that kept me busy.
I did write one thing that I thought was funny last week but I wasted it on Facebook. Sorry again. If you’re interested, it was this: Some people shyly mingle the first day of a conference. I make a beeline for the bar with a shoe covered in my blood.
I’ll try to be funny again ASAP.