A long time ago, I wrote a post about me being the captain of a sinking ship. It was a rough time in my life but I got through it and my ship didn’t sink and I fell in love and got married and moved to the great plains and started grad school. But recently, my ship has taken some hits: losing loved ones, living far away from family and friends, grad school, financial worries, 70+ hour work weeks, and a terrifying feeling I have messed things up somehow. Tipped the balance. Incurred some sort of curse. Because while I am so lucky to have all I have and be able to do all I do, I am exhausted in every possible way. And I haven’t posted in weeks and that is another way I feel like I’m failing. Because y’all are amazing and thoughtful and have been so supportive and encouraging to me. And I think y’all deserve better. Y’all deserve daily doses of humor and whimsy. And I’m not up to it right now, my whimsy is flimsy. But the thought of walking away from this blog has me in tears. So, I’m not. At least I’m not right now. But I also don’t know how often I’ll be posting in the next year. So if you can bear with me, I’ll forever appreciate it. If you can’t, I totally get it and I wish you all a life filled with cotton candy and completely devoid of aliens.
Love, love, love,
Maybe its weird but I’ve always been really proud of how loud I can snap. Like, I wasn’t a kid with many talents. Mostly I was just known for making everyone really uncomfortable by asking if they had seen any ghosts or knew of any secret passages in the school. But one thing I was always better at than everyone in my class was snapping really loud. It really impressed everyone in the third grade. Surprisingly, it impresses adults less. I’m still proud of it though, other adults are probably just jealous.
On Monday a rabbit stopped right in front of me on the sidewalk. It wasn’t skittish or afraid and it definitely didn’t run away. Instead, it pooped. It stopped right in front of me and pooped.
That seems like a sign to me. Of what, I’m not sure. I asked Captain Thoughtful what he thought the universe was trying to tell me and he said “I think all it means is that when you gotta go, you gotta go.”
Wise words from a handsome man.
When you are a woman, sometimes the way your body reacts to stress is very similar to how it would react to pregnancy. Which is why I recently bought pregnancy tests in bulk. Fun fact: I’m not pregnant, just stressed.
Another fun fact: This was a bad time to give up fried foods.
How do you handle your fear? What do you do when you’re scared?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. For me, it depends on the fear. If it is illogical or very unlikely to occur, I typically rely on superstition. You know, combat nonsense with more nonsense that is totally *not* nonsense if it works. If it is a fear more likely to occur, then I construct a very logical plan and always have a back-up plan and a back-up back-up plan.
But I’m really interested in how other people battle their fear – what is your go-to fear conquering move?
Everyone measures distance by Whataburgers right? Like, “Only 6 hours from Lincoln to Whataburger”. That way, you don’t have to choose between using the metric system and English system. Everyone wins and also french fries!
Just remember that my Aunt J calls the TV show “American Ninja Warrior”, “American Ninja Turtle”. And she doesn’t do it as a joke, she just thinks that it what it’s called.
That had me laughing so hard I got the hiccups. And also, as long as people say funny things like that, and you can laugh so hard you get the hiccups, probably everything will be OK.