Because I didn’t. I didn’t know dogs like pumpkin. At least, my dog, Dobby, likes pumpkin.
Check it – Captain Thoughtful and I went to a pumpkin patch to pick our own pumpkins (like bosses) and we picked the two cutest pumpkins in the whole freaking patch. Check the cute:
I’m pretty sure people were jealous of that adorable dark green pumpkin we picked. And, it only cost $1 so it was a hella frugal Halloween purchase. Adorable and affordable. Alas, poor pumpkin! Your cuteness was all too temporary because of an even cuter universal force – Dobby aka the pumpkin destroyer.
Anyway, I didn’t know dogs even liked pumpkins.
For the record, Dobby was fine and didn’t even get a stomachache and also showed no remorse and so is most likely a pumpkin hungry psychopath.
It really unsettles me when I walk by a squirrel and it doesn’t run away. All other squirrels run away. What makes this squirrel different? Is it planning something? Why isn’t it afraid of me? Should I be afraid of it? Is it sick with bubonic plague and as a result lost its desire for self-preservation? What is that squirrel’s deal? Squirrels should be squirrely. Be more squirrely squirrel, you’re freaking me out.
Our dog’s name is Dobby Godzilla. Last night, he killed a moth.
Did anyone else get as ridiculously excited as I did?
Godzilla killed Moth(ra). Get it???
Won’t you join me in my geekery? No? That’s cool, I’m used to it. I’ll just be sitting here with a huge smile on my face loving the shit out of life because Dobby Godzilla killed Mothra.
Dobby Godzilla is such a badass.
Yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon, a groundhog took up residence in my driveway. I don’t know what this means y’all. Does it mean winter is coming? Is the groundhog a Game of Thrones fan? Is it going to be summer forever? Was it some sort of environmental sit-in? Is it a good omen or a bad omen? Should I feed it? Should I call animal control? What does it mean???!
While I was thinking all these things, the groundhog got up and ran across the street. Fare thee well groundhog of indeterminate omens, you are someone else’s source of confusion now.
This is Dobby after a long night at the club. He is a bit in his cups and did not appreciate getting papped.
This is Dobby after a long day of playing with his rope and napping on the couch. He has just finished his dinner and was resting and did not appreciate getting papped.
I’m sorry yall, I just can’t believe that this isn’t an alien.
It’s definitely an alien. I can only assume the scientists who try to convince us that these are crabs are being controlled by the aliens. Presumably via some sort of mind control. Or maybe the aliens have promised them they will be treated well after the inevitable uprising. I don’t know all the details, all I know is this is definitely some sort of alien.
Or its just a crab and I’m being fanciful. It’s like, 50/50.
Shark week – just when I think I’m out, they pull me right back in.