The Best Thing I Heard In Vegas

When I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago, I heard a lot of strange things. Its sort of Vegas’ deal. But the the best and most hilarious thing I heard the entire time was this: “I get that I’m an asshole but at least I’m not a douche bag.”

I’m not sure what the hierarchy is on that, I mean, I usually rate asshole as worse than douche bag, but apparently there is a discussion to be had about this. So, what are yall’s thoughts? Which is worse?

Cool Cool

On the flight home from MO on Sunday, I witnessed some grade-A awkward flirtation and the death of a word.

Guy: So….are you from here?

Flight Attendant: No, I’m based out of Chicago. 

Guy: Cool cool. (long pause) Where in Chicago?

Flight Attendant: By the airport. 

Guy: Cool cool. (long pause) Where are you staying here? 

Flight Attendant: By the airport. 

Guy: Cool cool. 

Flight Attendant: Are you here for work? 

Guy: Yeah, just for a few days. 

Flight Attendant: Have a nice trip. 

Guy: So…..do you know much about things to do in Austin? 

Flight Attendant: Not really, we aren’t here for long. 

Guy: Cool cool. So, you’re staying close? 

Flight Attendant: Mmmhmmm

Guy: Cool cool. I think I’m staying downtown. 

Flight Attendant: Oh. 

Guy: Cool cool. 

So, if you’re wondering who killed the word “cool”, it was that guy. He beat it to death trying to flirt with a flight attendant. RIP “Cool”.

Missouri

The most thoughtful of Captains and I will be traveling to Missouri this weekend. I’ve never been and therefore, have no idea what to expect. I mean, I had a t-shirt in college that said “Put Me Out Of My Missouri” but that’s probably not a good indicator of what is in store for me this weekend.

So, obviously, my first mission in Missouri (as it’s my first mission anywhere) is to find a Taco Bell and see if they have Chili Cheese Burritos.

And then….what? I don’t know. Y’all tell me, what must I absolutely accomplish while in Missouri?

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

NEW ORLEANS EDITION Y’ALL!!!

So, the good Captain and I spent Labor Day weekend in New Orleans with our friends, The Spinsters, Professor McGregor, and the Yeti. And it was sheer delight y’all, sheer delight. New Orleans is one of my very favorite cities in the world and I practically run there every chance I get. (By practically run, I mean I get in the car and drive the speed limit)

FOOD

I have many MANY favorite places to eat in New Orleans. MANY. But, there are a few that I think of first.

Le Bayou. It’s on Bourbon Street and it has my absolute favorite version of shrimp and grits ever because their shrimp and grits also has friend green tomatoes. And I just drooled on myself…….also, they have chipotle smoked oysters that are the stuff happy dreams are made of.

Luke. Labor Day weekend was the first time I had been here but it will not be the last. Their drinks are very tasty and so is the food. ALTHOUGH- do not have more than one drink before your food arrives, it will make you…uh….wobbly.  Specifically a drink called the “Riverbend”. A friend asked me to tell you that. Also, the oysters were exceptionally fresh and the crab omelet exceptionally delicious.

American Sector. Same chef (John Besh) as Luke, so obviously he is my spirit chef. This restaurant is at the WWII Museum, which you absolutely MUST go to, and then you absolutely MUST eat at American Sector. Good everything. Really. Captain Thoughtful and I have eaten here like 10 times and never had a bad meal.

Cochon Butcher. Best sandwich of my life. OF MY LIFE. Get thee there as fast as you can.

FUN

Haunted History Ghost Tours. They fun, they’re informative, they stop at Lafitte’s Bar and you need to get a grape Voodoo and then things will get awesome. Also, during the day, go on one of their cemetery tours, they are also really really well done.

WWII Museum. Overwhelming. Powerful. Educational. Make sure you reserve a day to explore, it’s a very moving place to be and also make sure you talk to some of the WWII veterans who are always there- they have some incredible stories to share.

French Quarter. It’s so much more than Bourbon Street. There are some amazing antique shops, old book shops, art galleries, street vendors, basically all kinds of awesomeness.

 

This is just the tip of the favorite things iceberg y’all. Go to New Orleans.  Now. You’ll probably find me and Captain Thoughtful there.

Girl On The Contrary- In Cleveland

Ok, so I’m not in Cleveland right now, but I will be in Cleveland in July and I want to know the absolute best place to eat there. And also, because I’m not a good flyer, I would like to know the absolute best place to get a drink to calm my nerves there post-flight.

I know y’all won’t let me down.

Also, Cleveland, you’ve been warned. There are contrarian hijinks headed your way!