Me: Have you seen this movie?
Captain Thoughtful: I have…you made me watch it.
Me: Oh. But you still haven’t seen Titanic.
Captain Thoughtful: True. But why do you bring that up?
Me: Just to prove I don’t make you watch every movie that emotionally wrecks me.
Captain Thoughtful: The ship sinks, not sure what else I need to know.
Me: You need to know they could have both fit on that floating door!
Captain Thoughtful: Ok?
Me: I think I made my point.
Despite my love for Marvel, I didn’t go see Captain America: Civil War because I just can’t bear to watch friends fight.
How many times can you watch Elf, before it becomes, like, TOO many times? Asking for a friend.
While introducing my cousins to the Harry Potter movies…
Bomb-dignity cousin: Is Dobby evil?
Me: WHAT? No. Dobby is good.
Spiderwoman cousin: But does he become evil?
Me: Dobby is a good and free elf! He is never evil – only good and free!
(Realizes we are only at the very beginning of The Chamber of Secrets)
Me: Oh. Uh. Spoiler alert: Dobby gets freed.
Also, for the record, my cousins chose their own pseudonyms for the blog. Shout out to Bomb-diggity and Spiderwoman!
This is my 752nd blog post ever on this blog and Captain America opens in theaters today. Everything is coming up GotC y’all.
Ways we should all celebrate:
1. Go see Captain America and then talk about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
2. Wine popsicles.
4. Jazz hands.
5. Chili cheese burritos.
6. Do a dance that involves jazz hands after eating chili cheese burritos for dinner and having wine popsicles for dessert before going to see Captain America and then talking about it endlessly in the comments section of this post.
I think y’all can guess which way I am celebrating…….
Sunday night, I got it in my head that nothing would make me so happy as watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. But, alas, I could not find my DVD anywhere.
Then, I turned on the TV and it was just starting on ABC! The very movie I wanted to watch more than anything!
I’m pretty sure I made that happen. WITH MAGIC.
Last Friday, I accompanied Captain Thoughtful and our very good friend, affectionately known as The Yeti, to see Fast & Furious 6. BECAUSE I’M A GOOD WIFE Y’ALL.
Here are my thoughts.
1. Opening montage is classic. Pure cheesy gold. Or golden cheese.
3. You can’t take a fully intact bullet out of your own shoulder without at least a mirror. And also, probably not in that case either.
4. But. But….PHYSICS. You can’t change laws of physics. You can’t. NO.
5. Tanks aren’t that fast.
6. (Throws hands in air, shrugs shoulders, and waits patiently for next dance movie Captain Thoughtful now must accompany me to)
7. Also? Jason Statham is EVERYWHERE.
Humor pause for public service announcement.
On the real though y’all, if you have ever been in a very bad car accident, this is probably not the movie to see. Some of you may remember that in 2011, I was in a very serious car accident. My car rolled and I was trapped. Watching this movie brought back some not very nice flashbacks. Also, and I’m sure you all know this, but if you’re in a car accident and your car hits walls and rolls, that is not something that you walk away from easily and of your own volition. Trust me. If you’ve been in a bad accident, maybe pass on this movie, even the hilariously cheesy yet somehow still completely awesome dialogue doesn’t make the accident scenes easier to watch.
We now return to our regularly scheduled humor.