How To Tell That I Am Sad – A Conversation

After a sad and disappointing thing happened…

Me: I’m just really sad.

Captain Thoughtful: I know sweetheart. Me too. It’s ok for us to be sad about this.

Me: I know but – listen, I didn’t even floss last night.

Captain Thoughtful: Oh! Oh my goodness. What can I do? Can I do anything? Tell me what you need.

And that folks, is how you know I am *really* sad. If I don’t floss, it’s basically the apocalypse and everyone is doomed. Except it wasn’t really the apocalypse, obvs, but sometimes the sad things that happen to us feel earth shattering so it was like a personal apocalypse. A tiny personal apocalypse involving two humans and a very confused but snuggly dog. Happily, those two humans love each other (and the dog) and support each other (and the dog – who is a freeloader and doesn’t even contribute financially to the family) and I only went one night without flossing so probably everything will work out in the end.

Oh, and also, this is my 1,000th post on Girl on the Contrary. What a gorgeous journey it has been and I’m looking forward to 1,000 more (if blogging is even still a thing in 7 years which is how long I assume it will take me to write 1,000 posts and probably there will be an actual apocalypse before then and if that is the case then Hail Xorbula! or whomever our alien overlords are (but my money is on Xorbula)).

What Even Just Happened? 

Checking out at the grocery store….

Cashier: (to Captain Thoughtful) Oh! Do you go to that school? 

Captain Thoughtful: No, I’m a professor there.

SIDE NOTE – Can we just shout out that people think Captain Thoughtful still looks young enough to be a student at University? I *was* a student like 3 months ago and people were all “Are you someone’s Mom?” 

Cashier: That’s awesome! (Looks at me) Are you a professor too? 

Me: No, I’m a therapist. 

Cashier: That is so cool! Can you call my brother he really needs help? 

Me: Uh….

Cashier: I’m not joking. He’s messed up. Can you call him? 

Me: I can’t do that no, but I can tell you where he could get some help. 

Cashier: Ok. Do you two have kids? 

Me: No.

Cashier: You should. You two would have the cutest baby ever. 

Then Captain Thoughtful and I left the store   (after I told her where her brother could get some mental health help) and even now, 24 hours later, I’m not sure what even happened there. It was like the weird dreams you have when you eat too much cheese before bed. Except it really happened and I didn’t even get to eat cheese. 

How I Survived Grad School: A List

Grad school was transformative and amazing but also, my word, so emotionally and mentally brutal. So I thought I would share a few of the things that helped me get through it in case you’re going through something transformative and brutal as well.

1. Bob’s Burgers : I work with a lot of patients who have experienced trauma and as a result I have no desire to watch anything dramatic when I get home. But even on my heaviest days, Bob’s Burgers made me laugh and that made all the difference. See also, Parks and Rec, The Simpsons, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

2. Henry Doorly Zoo : Y’all, Omaha has one of the best zoos in the United States. And that’s not just my opinion, it’s like, ranked and stuff. Watching animals and seeing children get so excited never failed to remind me that life can be full of joy and to be fully present during those joyful moments. Captain Thoughtful and I visited so often we finally became members and I fully expect an exhibit to be named after me soon. Side note: It is also a very hilly long walk so bonus you get a good glute workout! Good for the mind good for the buns.

3. Romance novels : Read Sarah MacLean, Tessa Dare, Julia Quinn, Lisa Kelypas, Victoria Alexander, and Kirsten Callahan y’all. These are talented writers who write interesting characters (particularly sassy clever female characters) who meet their matches and have happy endings. Sometimes you need a happy ending in a book and there is nothing wrong with that. Every book was a delight.

4. Empowering playlist: Beyonce featured heavily and whenever I was feeling low or overwhelmed I would just get my ass in Formation.

5. Captain Thoughtful: I know not everyone has a Captain Thoughtful but I hope you all have at least one person in your life who is as supportive, encouraging, validating, hilarious, and kind as Captain Thoughtful is. I often tell my patients how important a support system is and I think they kind of roll their eyes and minimize it but y’all SUPPORT SYSTEMS ARE IMPORTANT. Not to solve your problems or minimize them but to sit alongside you, pour you a glass of your preferred beverage, hold your hand while you ugly cry, and then watch a marathon of RuPaul’s Drag Race with you.

Feel free to share things that have helped you cope with the transformative and brutal times in your life in the comments y’all.

Also – why does spellcheck keep underlining transformative? That’s a word spellcheck. Trust me, I’m a therapist.

Don’t Call It A Comeback

Or, you know, do because I actually think it would be eminently fair to call this a comeback since I have been gone and now I have….come back. Hello again! I honest to goodness have no idea if anyone is still out there but if you are, you’re the coolest and I appreciate your patience as I took time off from blogging to become a therapist.

Just let that sink in a bit.

I, GotC, am a licensed therapist. I have a noise cancelling machine and everything. It’s totally legit. And after two years of non-stop research, classwork, and clinical hours I was able to sum up my theory of therapy to this:

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Which I think it a pretty good indicator that I’m still me.


Here Is A Thought On A Friday

Maybe its weird but I’ve always been really proud of how loud I can snap. Like, I wasn’t a kid with many talents. Mostly I was just known for making everyone really uncomfortable by asking if they had seen any ghosts or knew of any secret passages in the school. But one thing I was always better at than everyone in my class was snapping really loud. It really impressed everyone in the third grade. Surprisingly, it impresses adults less. I’m still proud of it though, other adults are probably just jealous. 

Here Is A Thought On A Friday

On Monday a rabbit stopped right in front of me on the sidewalk. It wasn’t skittish or afraid and it definitely didn’t run away. Instead, it pooped. It stopped right in front of me and pooped. 

That seems like a sign to me. Of what, I’m not sure. I asked Captain Thoughtful what he thought the universe was trying to tell me and he said “I think all it means is that when you gotta go, you gotta go.”

Wise words from a handsome man.