Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday. The food is divine (thanks to my divine Mother) and there isn’t any pressure-fllled gift giving. It’s just food, football, and family. And I love it.
I am not unaware of the potential hazards of the holiday. Namely, the extreme hazard of getting involved in a controversial/emotional conversation with a family member. Basically, Thanksgiving can be a controversy obstacle course. In the past, I have pretty much comically tripped over every obstacle because, well, because I’m me. But, this year I’m prepared.
Any time anyone says anything remotely controversial, I will utter the following in a robot voice.
“I have registered your opinion and filed it in my memory banks. Please proceed to the next topic.”
Also, I’ll do the robot while saying that. I don’t think anyone will be able to continue on after that.
I just saved Thanksgiving y’all.