I Have A Theory

I have a theory that all airports are located on hellmouths. Here is my evidence:

1. Even the nicest airports bring out the worst in people.

That’s it. But I don’t think I need more proof. That is more than enough. People turn into panicky, angry, vicious, spastic, emotionally reactive monsters at airports. And I don’t exclude myself from this at all. My flight gets canceled and I immediately see red and start demanding first class tickets to Maui as sufficient repayment for my temporary inconvenience and if you don’t pay for my dinner so help me……it will get ugly. But cancel a movie or a package shipment or literally anything else in my life and I’ll just shrug it off and figure something else out calmly.

Airports are definitely on hellmouths. Its the only explanation.

19 thoughts on “I Have A Theory

  1. I had never considered that before….you may have a point. Certainly the “food” on the flight indicates this. The inability of people to fill out simple forms is another. Hmm? Now I have to wonder about my classroom. Is there similar phenomenon that causes smart people to ask incredibly stupid questions?

  2. Brent Patterson says:

    Thats why I only travel to airports with a Cinnabon. It makes it easier to spot whatever supernatural haunt is lerking nearby.
    “Excuse me sir, but I can tell by your lack of a smile while eating that delicious pastry that you do not have a soul.”

  3. This post made me laugh out loud. I was visiting my mom when I read this and she asked me what was so funny. We then had a lengthy discussion about Hellmouths because she’d never heard the word before. She decided she was living on top of one and has since decided to move in with me….thanks for that. :/ (Kidding, kidding.) 🙂

  4. Well considering the amount of money one has to fork out for a plane ticket its completely understandable! But I can’t help feeling as though there is some eerie truth to your theory.

  5. Steve says:

    There is another explanation. Obviously, managing the world’s airports is the true daytime mission of Dolores Umbridge.

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