Things I Yelled At Kids This Week

When you are a 30 year old grad student  surrounded by a horde of 18 year old undergrads, sometimes things get shouty. Here is a list of things I yelled at 18 year olds on campus this week.

1. Use the crosswalk you anarchists! Do you think cars won’t hit you because you’re being so rebellious and walking in the middle of the street? Motor vehicles don’t respect your devil may care attitude. They will hit you. Hard.   Damn!

2. I don’t understand any words you’re saying. Use real words!

3. Don’t you dare compare NSYNC to One Direction. Don’t. You. Dare.

I am officially an old y’all. But, it’s not so bad because I can legally buy booze and don’t have to share a bathroom with 20 other people. So, I have that going for me.

25 thoughts on “Things I Yelled At Kids This Week

  1. I really like it. You are amazeballs!!! Keep writing. In your free time ( study time ) please look at my blog. I also yell at little children probably to much. I mostly yell ” Move your little butts faster!” ” Come on the bathroom is not a social time where people make eye contact through the damn bathroom door when I’m taking a crap!!” then I get yelled at by the parent who was either wiping the childs’ butt or let the child look under the stall door to say hello or take the spy way to a bathroom. People control YOUR hairless monkeys please!!!

  2. Layla's Mom says:

    LMAO! I feel like I am constantly saying “What in the hell does that mean?” when I talk to my teenage siblings.

  3. enchantedsiren says:

    This is amazing, I’m at the adult (I’m an underachieved, but life planned… whats going on?? why am I not done yet??) age of 24, and I can totally relate to this while I’m at the community college and surrounded by dual-enrollment kiddos and fresh out of high school kids.

  4. I… I don’t even know what # 3 is about, so there’s that. I am here this AM (little late to the rodeo, but hey–) to make you feel LESS old. I am full-on at least 10 yrs (possibly 15) older than you, and I lurrrved #’s 1&2. Because just… SO. MUCH. YES! Plus— common sense. Plus— YAY for oldsters– the 80’s ROCKED, am I right? 😉 Keep being glorious, Miss Contrary.

  5. Ah yes, and another generation comes along. My friend found some letters written from one ancestor to another in 1850 and the gist of the letter was ‘Kids these days’. So we’re doomed to lives of judging the young and foolish.

  6. I just had to yell at a 20-year-old on facebook for writing “Spice Girls without Victoria Beckham is like *NSYNC without Justin Timberlake”

    I replied “……………………uhm, NO. Victoria Beckham is the Chris Kirkpatrick of the Spice Girls.

  7. Didn’t you get the memo? 30 has been reclassified. It hasn’t been officially ‘old’ since 2009 (which coincidentally is when I turned 30). We’re currently in the process of ‘re-evaluating’ how to classify 40.

  8. Elizabeth Grisham says:

    How are the 18-year-old drivers when you’re the pedestrian? Does the crosswalk mean anything then?

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