Things I Thought When I Saw Jurassic World

Ok. I can handle this. I am an adult human woman and I refuse to cower in fear. These animals are extinct. They can not hurt me. I am bigger than this fear.

Trained raptors?! What will Hollywood think of next?

These idiots never learn, their hubris is their destruction. Huh. That was deep. Good for me.

Why can’t they find it?! How is it hiding? IT IS SMARTER THAN PEOPLE OH MY GOODNESS I CAN NOT HANDLE THIS.



This freaking thing is killing for sport! It’s an unstoppable animal serial killer. It’s  Jack the Ripper-osaurus.

I want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore. Overcoming my fears is stupid. This is a fear I need to retain because it will keep me alive when this shit goes down for real.


No. No. No. Nope.

Holy guacamole, even raptors trust Chris Pratt. That guy is the actual best.

Raptors and TRex teaming up! If I wasn’t terrified by that notion I would be thrilled.

Whew. Over. I made it through to the end and only closed my eyes for like 47% of the movie. I deserve ice cream.

17 thoughts on “Things I Thought When I Saw Jurassic World

  1. lol, me too. I kept repeating to myself that it is not real!! lol, they dont exist. But my friend kept telling me they recently found eggs or something, not true. right??? lol

  2. Just saw it this weekend (I know, I’m a week behind the entire world) and your post is SO spot on. I laughed hysterically as soon as I left the theater and told my husband I’d be forwarding him your play-by-play. This inspired me to nominate you for the Freestyle Writing Award (which, frankly, seems right up your alley). Please participate if you’d like, but there’s no obligation!

  3. I haven’t seen this movie yet, but since I’m a Chris Pratt fan, I probably should. There are some movies that one really should see in a theater as opposed to on DVD and would like to know if you think Jurassic World is in this category. Is it worth the effort and cost of actually going to the theater? On another note, I thought the Jurassic Park franchise had really jumped the shark with the third movie, but evidently this one EATS the shark.

  4. Hey there.
    I’m from the Middle of nowhere in England. I get email updates of your blog and I absolutely love it.
    You cheer me up no end and generally restore my faith in mankind with your snappy brand light humour. I’ve never commented before but I had to after this one! I saw Jurassic World Monday night and experienced almost the exact series of mini emotional terrors as you did! It’s always good to know you’re not alone in it πŸ™‚
    So thanks for the good cheer and for keeping me company from all the way across the Atlantic πŸ™‚
    Calliandra xx

  5. WOW! The movie seems exciting. I will remind mom to close one eye when she and dad go see it. I can’t wait to hear about it from them. Thanks! XOXO – Bacon

  6. wwwpalfitness says:

    Hounsou were in Guardians a year ago and now managed to get into two huge movies a year later.

  7. wwwpalfitness says:

    I’ll get you ice cream. What kind and flavor? I went into the movie not expecting much though I though it had a good cast. I heard the echo I got words of JeffGoldblum soon there will be screaming. It’s similar to aliens with the marines. All the training will not help. Hiding what that animal was almost the whole plot though ppl like me knew she was part raptor. The oddest thing to me wasn’t that two enemies blue and T. rex teamed up and gave a nod to each other. Rather that tha mamosaurus who ate a 20 great white like it was caviar and looked like it was over 100 feet easily was only marginally bigger than the indominus at 50. The spinosaurus was 40 plus and easily took down the T. rex in the prior and if I was going to risk my life that’s whose door I’d have rung but the T. rex is the immortal dinosaur ring and he went from bad guy to savior. A good wrap up. The movie is number two all time domestically and number one worldwide and I didn’t see it listed in many iMax theaters. Avatar, number one all time opened with 77 million. They say dinosaurs and the movie business is dead due to piracy. Well I’ve never seen two movies move into the top ten so fast in f7 and avengers two and they would become 3&4 respectively but now it looks JW has a very legitimate chance at challenging one. This week it could go to 1 billion as its opening in more international areas and that’s freakishly scary. The end screams no way could there be a sequel but with a juggernaut like this how could there not be? The end has the owner dead the security specialist dead the original mad scientist from the first has the embryos and now has to look for a new buyer. I’m sure some angle of a low bidder will buy it but then it would be a sequel that couldn’t possibly bring the stars back in s it would be like a bootleg movie as a new park. I do find it interesting I’ve seen two movies in the last year and it was guardians and JW. So Chris Pratt and Djimon

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s