Yes. I AM Going To Drink All the Vodka.

Dear Flight Attendant,
Yes. I just bought vodka on our flight. It is 4pm which is happy hour or at the very least happy hour adjacent. This flight is very turbulent and I am not a good flier. You will kindly STOP judging me and run my credit card so I don’t have a full blown panic attack on this flight. For the record, you are NOT helping keep me calm by pointing out the terrifying black clouds we are about to have to fly through. So, since you aren’t keeping me calm, I am going to need a little help from my friend vodka. Please stop asking “Are you sure?” and “You are going to drink all of this?” I am sure and I am sure as HELL drinking all of this. I would happily decline if you could make this plane stop bouncing. Can you do that? No? Give me the vodka then. Kthanksbye.


32 thoughts on “Yes. I AM Going To Drink All the Vodka.

  1. I remember encountering windshear on takeoff on a flight out of Denver about 35 years ago. I’m not a good flyer either, and couldn’t get over the fact that I was going to buy it on a plane. I didn’t … how we kept airborne is beyond me … but the pilot bought a round of drinks for everyone on the plane. I’ll never forget that experience.

    Hope you enjoyed the vodka!

  2. emilyturner23 says:

    btw the last day i quit the airline industry i got everyone wasted for free on an afternoon flight from North Carolina to New York City, before stripping of my uniform on the runway. No one was complaining.

  3. emilyturner23 says:

    i love flying and i love vodka, and champagne and wine lol, flight attendants should be the LAST ones to judge! why? because I was once one myself.

  4. Oh, I hope s/he did and that it wasn’t as bad as you expected. I flew a few years ago around a big black cloud thing like that – it just LOOMED outside the window, and eventually, we had to turn into it to land (or fly to Europe). It was incredibly “bouncy” and I was very glad when we landed safely. I hope you also landed safely.

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