Needed: Squirrel Prenatal Vitamins

So, our pet squirrel is pregnant. I mean, she isn’t really our pet except that she eats in our yard everyday and we feed her and she walks up to our door to let us know when she is there and she isn’t scared of us at all. And she has a name. So, kind of our pet? Our pseudo-pet?

Anyway it doesn’t matter because she got knocked up (probably because we let her run all over the neighborhood doing who knows what kind of depraved sexual acts with strange male squirrels. Or maybe she just has a boo. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. And anyway, I don’t really know how squirrels handle procreation so I shouldn’t judge.) Regardless, Sam the Squirrel is pregnant and though we feed her a wide variety of nuts, I am concerned that her baby(ies?) aren’t getting the vitamins and nutrition they need. Are squirrel prenatal vitamins a thing? Are there any veterinarians who follow this blog who can advise me how to be a good squirrel midwife?

I don’t want to mess this up y’all, Sam is counting on me.

32 thoughts on “Needed: Squirrel Prenatal Vitamins

  1. A couple of issues I’ve been thinking about here:

    First of all, winter is coming. You know squirrels tend to store their nuts like I store shoes. Maybe Sam is like ‘bulking’ up on the nut supply. You know, if you were packing on a few extra pounds, you wouldn’t anyone going around saying, “HEY! Looks like you got a bun (s) in the oven there, huh?” And of course there’s always the thought that perhaps Sam is a (gasp) Samuel with a ‘nut-gut’.

  2. “Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you’ve got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception!” -The Tick.

  3. How many babies do squirrels have at one time and is the father still in the picture? Nothing to do with prenatal vitamins – just some thoughts that came to mind. Be prepared for Sam to set up housekeeping on your doorstep! I’ve never seen a pregnant squirrel – at least I don’t think I have. We have plenty in the back yard which we feed along with the birds. I’ll be on the look out for one now! Lol!

  4. Hahaha this is a great post – so funny. Good luck to Sam! I haven’t heard of squirrel prenatal vitamins, but then we don’t have squirrels to feed them too 😛 Keep us posted!

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