If I Responded To Spam….

I try really hard to make sure that spam doesn’t get published in the comments because spam is something that should be eaten while vacationing in Hawaii, not something that should show up on your blog. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to respond to those comments, some are so ridiculous that I can’t help but want to respond because I enjoy laughing at robots. Unless the robots do eventually take over one day, in that case, I was totally laughing *with* them and not at them.

Spam comment: You really stick it to the media in this post! Your take is biting. [redacted link for Viagra]

My imaginary response: This post is about farts. I’m not really the biting type, I learned not to bite in kindergarten and it’s one of those lessons that really stuck with me.


Spam comment: This article is not as hard hitting as it could have been. I am enjoying every article.

My imaginary response: Mixed messages. Did I used to date you?


Spam comment: Buy gold jewelry from [redacted link]

My imaginary response: Your mother.


Wow. That felt good. Very cathartic. In your robotic faces spam machines!

33 thoughts on “If I Responded To Spam….

  1. Hahaha – Not sure how to respond to this without looking like a robot!! [Insert several links to payday loan companies and for-profit schools here] There! That oughta do it!!

  2. I had a comment that was along the lines of “You used to be so much better! C’mon! [link to rando website].” Oddly, it was on a post from like 8 months ago.

  3. I have one spammer (FonTroov) who manages to hit me with up to 30 comments a day. Fortunately I have an amazing spam filter and none of them get through. But I’ve made up a whole persona for this guy in my head. Clearly, I need hobbies.

  4. I remember when I first started blogging and I didn’t realize those comments weren’t legitimate. I was very confused about those comments…until I clicked a link to see where it came from…pretty embarrassing. Now I’ve got one of those snazzy plug-ins to take care of the riff raff for me.

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