I Am AARP

A couple days ago, I an AARP card in the mail. My first instinct was to be offended – how the hell did I get on their list? Can they see my Amazon purchases and just made an assumption that someone who buys old movies, ginko biloba, and fancy olive oil should be a member of AARP?

Then, I thought a bit more about it. Doesn’t an AARP card get you like a million discounts on things?  Don’t I love discounts? Don’t I love coupons? Don’t I always try to make it to the early bird showing of movies? Aren’t I concerted about bone health and retirement and my investments?

I might be 29, but I AM AARP. Well played AARP, well played.

26 thoughts on “I Am AARP

  1. Mike says:

    it is worse when you turn 50 and they get you because 50 really is the age to join. I was kind of bummed realizing I am a breath away from turning into dust.

  2. Everybody wants what AARP has, until they actually qualify. Then that cliche, yet still grim reminder of your increasing decrepitude has you hurling the offending bit of plastic into the nearest bin. Trust me.

  3. I got mine several years back. And then I got another one about two years later.
    I finally sent the form back to them with a haiku on it:

    “I am not as old
    As you seem to think I am.
    End your mailings.”

    That seemed to do it.

  4. I’ll bet the Doctor is AARP too.
    “I’m the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I’m nine hundred and three years old, and I’m the man who’s gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?”

  5. lol you are so funny. Yes, AARP gets you lots of discounts, etc, but I think they really do have an age requirement – see what happens when you send in your membership fee. 🙂 I have to say, the $16 fee is well worth it, if they let you join, do it!

  6. ummm so how do I get my own AARP card? Does this mean we could also qualify for one of those free electric wheel chairs I see on info-mercials? …because those are the shit.

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