Further Proof I Will Never Be Cool

I just discovered Angry Birds on my phone. Apparently (and the cool kids told me this) Angry Birds was already a thing and I should be playing Candy Crush. 

I tried playing Candy Crush but I just can’t get into it. I would NEVER crush candy. I would eat the candy. Candy is not for crushing, it’s for eating. 

On the other hand, I can fully empathize with the plight of the Angry Birds. The pigs aren’t just stealing their eggs – they are kidnapping their children! I stand with the birds y’all, and if my excellent aim can ensure their children sleep safe in their eggs at night, well then, I am all in and it is my duty to play. 

According to the cool kids, I am “being weird” about Angry Birds. Fun fact, if I had a dollar for every time someone said I was “being weird” about something, I would be exceedingly rich. Like, Bill Gates would ask me to spot him $1,000,000 kind of rich. 

29 thoughts on “Further Proof I Will Never Be Cool

  1. I’m not gonna lie. I did get in on the Angry Birds addiction a bit late in the game. I also tried out Candy Crush–to which I ALSO got addicted. However, I am over both of those. I have admitted my problems and taken steps to “fix” it. I have now moved on to Farm Hero Saga and Papa Pear Saga. And yes, re-addicted myself to those. It’s a daily struggle.

  2. I’ve discovered this great new game on my phone where I punch in a bunch of numbers and it makes a PHONE call to somebody I actually KNOW. Then I hear their voices and they hear mine. Just like that!

    Not sure how the cool kids feel about this yet.

  3. “But … it’s just that it’s bugging me … this cool thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn’t have it? And who decides who doesn’t have it? What is the essence of “cool”? -Xander, BTVS.

  4. People say candy crush is addicting and everyone gets addicted to it. I played it and got bored straight away.
    Also the flappy bird thing. I suck at it and I never downloaded it. Now I can’t. xP

  5. Yeah I’m not cool either i just discovered angry birds about a month ago. My son. Came home from school last week and was like mom i am so angry, my response was well so are these birds so hold on a sec

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