I have recently been made aware that when football players are all in a massive pile on the ground fighting for the football they are GRABBING AND PULLING AT EACH OTHER’S JUNK. Apparently, they think this will make the player holding the ball drop it.
First of all, hahaha so many jokes about ball and balls.
Second of all, NOT OK FELLAS. Did your parents not teach you about “bad touching”? I feel like it should be obvious that human beings should not grab and pull at other human beings genitalia in an effort to hurt them, but apparently it isn’t. So, consider this an official statement from a human being – hey guys, don’t do that. Just…..don’t. Poke an eye or punch a kidney or something, but don’t sexually assault one another, just plain old assault one another.
When I made it clear I felt this way, I was told “it’s just part of the game” and since I’m not a football player (totally true) I “can’t say anything”. BUT I am unwilling to believe that all football players are cool with this, I mean, they keep their baby seeds in those balls, so this is not a matter to be taken lightly. I propose some sort of consent form. Something along the lines of “I football player am totally cool with the fact that my junk might get pulled, twisted, and smashed during the course of this game. I fully acknowledge that this may require me to get a testicular implant if a nut is busted. I’m cool with it.” That way, at least all these guys are giving their consent.
I would just feel better about it if there was some sort of consent given. Probably.
Actually, I’ve never read a football player’s contract so there very well might be a junk smashing or nut busting clause in there. If so, then just ignore the girl who wrote a post about this on her blog. She doesn’t play football so she doesn’t get it.