I am quite fond of eating bacon. I apologize for any scandal that causes my vegetarian readers, and also, I would like to warn them to really really never eat bacon because I used to be a vegetarian too but then I tried bacon again and it was so delicious that now I eat all the meats. Bacon is a gateway meat. Beware.
Also, if it makes anyone feel better about the pigs who gave their lives for my eating pleasure, I made bacon on Monday night and it fought back. It fought back hard. Like, I have battle wounds. Or rather, battle burns, because as I was frying up some bacon, the grease began to shoot out towards my arm like heat sensing missiles, and I now have burn dots and streaks across my right arm where the grease clearly found it’s target.
It was quite a nice victory for the bacon. Nice but short-lived because it only stopped me from cooking for about 20 minutes while I tended to my burned flesh with ice. And also, just for the record bacon, you burned my right arm which isn’t even the one I use the most because I’m left handed and basically my right arm serves only as a symmetrically pleasing accessory. But, if it makes you feel better, I will definitely scar from the burns you gave me and those scars will serve as a reminder to think twice before cooking bacon. I mean, I’ll probably still cook it, but I WILL think twice.