Every one in a while, I’ll take a look at the search terms people are using to find this here blog o’mine. And usually, I’ll make a few jokes about the terms and never think of them again, BUT, no more. I have had a epiphany and that is that the interwebs have sent these people to me for a REASON. And it’s so much more than an algorithm, these people NEED me. I have built it and they are coming in bizarre droves of random search terms. Welcome friends. Now, let me help you.
“Boyfriend calls me mama”
My dear, sweet searcher. NO. No. No. No. A million times no. The only person who could get away with that was A.C. Slater when he was dating Jessie Spano. Other than that, no.
“DTR conversation starters”
I am no fan of the DTR, but if you feel like you absolutely must have this conversation, I recommend that way I had it with Captain Thoughtful, via text message with a plate full of Tex-Mex in front of me and my best friend next to me coaching me through it. I sent him a text that said “Are you my boyfriend?” and then he sent me a text saying “Yes.” AND THEN WE GOT MARRIED. True story.
“Will Taco Bell bring back the chili cheese burrito”
That is the dream dear searcher. You can find some that still serve it (check the comments on this post, and also just read this one) but my great hope is that someday, ALL Taco Bells will serve the majestic chili cheese burrito once again.
Is there such a thing as a professional advice giver? Because, I think I’m pretty good at this y’all.