If you’re a gal in her late twenties (as I am) then you have a pretty heavy list of thing you’re supposed to worry about.
1. Your fertility is going-going-almost gone! Make the babies! Make the babies!
2. Wrinkles! You’ll be an old hag by the end of the year! Creams! Serums! Masks! Facials! PANIC.
3. Money money money money monnnneeeeee… you don’t have enough. Work more. Get a better job. Make the moola. But, don’t work so hard that you don’t have the time and energy for a baby, because as I mentioned earlier, you have to make one of those like yesterday.
4. Pilates! Kardashians! Fashion! Juice cleanses! Organic food! Anti-oxidants! Miley Cyrus’s hair! You need to know about all these things at all times.
5. Did you know women start menopause as early as 35? BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE.
You could worry about the things I actually worry about.
1. There are people literally trying to Jurassic Park dinosaur DNA. As in, bring dinosaurs back to life.
2. Rogue cows. There was a cow in our backyard last Saturday, a cow that was not behind a fence. How did you get out cow? Can you apparate? Can you? Cows can apparate y’all. You’ve been warned.
3. I saw a girl wearing leather shorts the other day, and apparently it’s the fashion thing to do, but y’all, this is Texas. Hot hot Texas, and if girls start wearing leather shorts all the time, I’m worried we’ll have an epidemic of vagina suffocation on our hands.
4. Read this. Brain juice was leaking out of his nose. Think about that next time you get the sniffles.
5. Being served any kind of BBQ other than Texas BBQ.
Seriously, who has time to worry about money and babies when there are cows apparating? Priorities.