Well friends, I’m a spectacular failure at being on a diet. (See how I put a positive word next to a negative one there? It was some trickery. Also, made me feel slightly better about the failure bit.)
Here is what my brain trying to convince itself to eat better/less sounds like…
Brain: I’m going to eat a salad for lunch with lots of yummy veggies! Yay!
Gollum Brain: Salads? Yes, salads are good but what it wants is the precious Tex-Mex. Enchiladases and chipses and salsases.
Brain: No! To lose the weight I need to eat better food.
Gollum Brain: Shut up! Shut up! Where would we be without the most deliciouses precious? BBQ is what’s needed for the hungries.
Gollum Brain: Donuts!
Gollum Brain: Actually, mangos are yummers. Eat those. AND THEN EAT CAKE.
Brain: No! We won’t do it! We won’t.
Gollum Brain: Oh yes we wills unless we want to get hangry (side note- that’s when you’re so hungry that you’re angry).
Brain: No! Not hangry. We have to be nice at work.
Gollum Brain: Then eat the french fries precious and be nice.
Yeah. That’s a real thing.