As you all know, I was very ill last week and when people are ill they sometimes do things they don’t usually do. For me, that’s read gossip magazines. Here are my immediate reactions to some of the headlines.
“Prince Harry Has A Crush On Jennifer Lawrence.”
Yes. He does. Because he’s a human person with a people heart. If you don’t have a crush on her, you’re a robot. That’s science.
“New Director Chosen For Jurassic Park 4.”
I literally choked on my jello.
“Veronica Mars Movie- Kickstarter”
I had no voice, so I couldn’t scream but if I could have, I would have. What I did instead was donate and now they are making the movie and now, now, I will have Veronica and Logan CLOSURE.
“Justin Bieber Blasts Lindsay Lohan On Instagram”
I fell asleep halfway through reading this, it was like “Justin Bieber…ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
“Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Call Off Wedding”
Liam backwards is mail. I need to check my mail.
Anyway, it was a slow week.