I think it’s really dumb to have Fat Tuesday two days before Valentine’s Day. It’s like, what if I gave up chocolate for Lent? Then everyone is just eating chocolate in my face like a bunch of jerkface temptation monsters. I mean, I can’t believe Pope Gregory XIII didn’t think of this possibility when he made the calendar. He must not have been a chocolate lover.
Anyway, I didn’t give up chocolate. I just think it would have really sucked if I had.