All The People Gave Me The Power To Banish You From This Restaurant

Do you ever eavesdrop on other people’s conversations at restaurants? Me neither. That is totally rude y’all. Except when the person sitting next to you is getting visibly upset with the waiter because THE GEOMETRY OF HER TABLE .

Waitress: Is there anything else I can get for you?

Crazy person: Yeah. What’s with this table?

Waitress: Ummm, what do you mean?

Crazy person: It has four legs. It should have three. That’s just basic geometry.

Waitress: Oh. Uh…These are the tables we’ve always had….

Crazy person: But the geometry is wrong. The GEOMETRY.

Waitress: Would you like to move to a booth?

Crazy person: No. But I would like a comment card so I can inform the management about the bad table geometry.

And that was a thing that happend y’all. It really truly happened. And everyone around was listening and then all the people gave me the power to banish her from the restaurant because MATH. Which is apparently something you can use to justify being mad at things. I, for one, think traffic can be blamed on algebra.

34 thoughts on “All The People Gave Me The Power To Banish You From This Restaurant

  1. All these years and I never knew math could justify me getting angry at a restaurant. So much wasted time. So many rants unspoken. Who can give me back my squandered youth.
    You also get a lot of quotes from Buffy, a show that to my own astonishment I enjoyed a lot. That enjoyment aside – and I think it is all because Joss Whedon is a genius – that enjoyment aside, I am really really tired of vampires. They are getting as bad as zombies were.
    Did you see Dr. Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog?

  2. I strongly believe that customers are almost never right and usually are really really stupid. I believe it is a mystical thing that also happens to me when I become a customer somewhere.

  3. That’s strangely impressive, to make it to adulthood without A) ever having seen a 4-legged table; B) having any actual problems to focus on; and C) not realizing that tables don’t have to be in danger of flipping over if you lean on them.

  4. “Giles lived for school. He’s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.” “He probably sat in math class thinking, “There should be more math. This could be mathier.” -Xander and Buffy, BTVS.

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