Weddings Are Hilarious

Actual list of things I have been doing for weeks in order to look pretty on 12/22/12, which is the day after the world ends and also they day Captain Thoughtful and I are getting married. Because we’re optimists. And also, we’re totally prepared for the apocalypse thanks to my knack for preparedness some people have referred to as “insanity”. So, the wedding is on y’all!

1. Drink more than 2 liters of water a day. I have to pee ALL THE TIME.

2. Eat an ounce of walnuts a day. Apparently, they make your skin beautiful because of omega-3 and magic.

3. Daily body moisturizing with argan oil. This is probably just a good life habit but holy shiz y’all, it’s slippery! I’m probably going to slip and fall in the shower and break my leg and have to walk down the aisle in crutches, but hey, my skin is going to look spectacular.

4. Time consuming skincare routine. So many oils, creams, tools, and oh so much time. Worth it though.

5. Drink a cup of hot water with lemon in it every morning and cucumber water throughout the day. Why? I read somewhere that’s what models do. It’s only now, as I’m writing about it, that I realize it might not be true……

Any special way y’all prepared for your wedding?

33 thoughts on “Weddings Are Hilarious

  1. Debra Colby-Conklin says:

    I have a feeling the end of the world will wait patiently while you and your love take your vows. You’ve worked far too hard for anything else to happen. And besides the world simply cannot end until you have someone to share it with. 🙂

    Congrats on your special day! Good luck to you both!

  2. Congrats on the wedding!

    Lemon water once a day is supposed to be good for you. Something about cleansing your insides? My health teacher swore by it so I’m taking her word for it. I dunno about the cucumber water

  3. LOL. I simply CAN’T when it comes to these things. I just don’t see the point. Dude/Dudette knows who he/she is marrying, so let’s just chill. That’s what I say, anyway. Now if you’ve never met the person and there’s a chance they’ll run, heck ya! Beauty routine crazy diet let your hair grow maniaaaaa!
    I get it though. People wanna look their very best. Me too. But MY very best. Like me, plus really nice clothes, actually spending time on my hair and makeup, and yeah.
    Omg, tried the water thing before (just for health reasons). MAN, is it hard at first. Hard to remember, hard to stomach, hard to fight through the need the go potty ALL the time (including in the middle of the freaking night!). It gets better though! Keep it up.
    And yeah… Weddings are hilarious. 🙂

  4. Pleeeeeeease tell us we’ll get to see some wedding pictures?!

    Also I think you can substitute water with vodka. That’s what I did before my wedding. (Or I never would have gone through with it. …I kid!)

  5. LOL #1 – the peeing-all-the-time eventually levels out.
    #2 – Walnuts are really good for you (as are nuts in general).
    #3 – I use Elemis Spa’s Frangipani-Monoi oil (not daily like I should), but I’ve heard that straight up coconut oil is one of the best things for your skin (and a lot less expensive) – heat in the microwave to melt it and slather on.
    #4 – tell me about it – skin is one of those things you have for life – you need to take care of it.
    #5 – I’m heard all that as well… haven’t tried it.

  6. And here I am thinking the world end date was the 12th–was totally psyched that you were contrarily getting married in the middle of the week. Had a tribute post planned for you and everything. At least I can procrastinate a little more….

    My wedding prep consisted of:

    1) Scrambling to find a new photographer because the one I was “gifted” for my wedding got deployed.
    2) Getting out of jury duty–particularly since it interfered with my spa appointment (nail polish and chest waxing–what fun).
    3) Finding a backup hair appointment since my intended hairdresser was on the run from an arrest warrant.
    4) Finding new wedding underwear since “Aunt Flo” showed up anyway after specifically not getting an invitation.

    Your list sounds much more fun.

  7. My wedding day was a long time ago… but I’m pretty sure I took a shower and shaved the non-beard dedicated parts of my face that morning.

    Fancy 🙂

  8. no special way…just lots and lots of lists ha ha. I had plenty of lotions and potions like you too and im pretty sure they did nothing…but it makes you feel better for trying 😉 my main concerns were getting my hair to a normal colour without frazzling it any more and getting rid of the tan lines from my shoulders WITHOUT going too brown and looking like an oompa loompa. i think i found the right balance in the end.
    keep up the creaming…just maybe put some more bath mats in to be on the safe side…and stay away from naked flames

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s