Little known fact about me- I like hockey. And though Texas is a place where ice has a very difficult time existing, it is also a place with extraordinary air conditioning and so we totally have hockey teams here. Usually, I go to hockey games with my family and therefore am somewhat appropriately behaved. Which is to say, I’m inappropriate but only to an appropriate degree. I’m appropriately inappropriate.
But, on Saturday, I went to a hockey game with Captain Thoughtful and some of our friends. And as a result, I’m fairly certain I won’t be allowed back unless I agree to abstain from the following.
1. Don’t say “and that’s not a metaphor” anytime someone references a “stick”.
2. Don’t laugh when people fall down on the ice.
3. Don’t humiliate your fiance by getting on the big screen because of your AWESOME dance moves.
4. Stop giggling every time someone gets a “high-sticking” penalty. (And then follow it up with “and that’s not a metaphor” you’ll think it’s funny the 1000th time but no one else will. Because they don’t get it. Or they’re just humorless grouchy-pants)
5. Don’t sit in the wrong seat and make promises to the kids behind you and then move to your actual seats. Those kids will think you’re a jerk who breaks promises. Although, maybe you’ve taught them an important lesson about not trusting strangers.
Anyway, I had fun.