I Am *This Close* To Being A Doomsday Prepper.

So, for a couple of years now I’ve been on the precipice of doomsday prepping. Nothing too extreme, just some survival packs with necessary supplies and a lot of can-do attitude. I mean, I think it’s crucial to enter the apocalypse (be it zombie or otherwise) with a positive and optimistic attitude. This is why everyone wants me to be on their apocalypse team- everyone likes (i.e. won’t murder in a hunger games-type scenario) someone with a friendly smile and humorous outlook on life. Also, I can can cook really well over an open flame. So, I have that going for me.
Pretty much the only thing stopping me from going full-out doomsday prepper is a lack of funds. And by “lack of funds” I mean, Captain Thoughtful doesn’t take the apocalypse as seriously as I do and therefore thinks spending lots of money on it is wasteful. I’m glad I put my kits together before we met. He is going to rue not letting me buy an axe when we need to chop wood to keep warm. (Just kidding, I would never buy an axe, what I really asked for was a robot to chop our wood for us) However, I found something yesterday that we have to have. For our survival. Because I care about taking care of us.
It fills up in your bathtub so you have non-contaminated drinking water when the faucets start spewing blood and sewage. This is the most practical thing ever. I’m adding it to my Christmas wish-list immediately. I mean, who could say no to such a practical not to mention life-saving gift?
Long story short, my doomsday prepping-adjacent behavior is going to save my life and lives of those I love (and people I choose to be on my apocalypse team – applications now accepted). You’re welcome family and friends. You should probably all buy me dinner or something to say thank you. It’s like, the very least you could do. I mean, since I will be saving your life and all.

39 thoughts on “I Am *This Close* To Being A Doomsday Prepper.

  1. I like this a lot. I’ve been hankering over a pig, electricity generator, and water well combination for a while. Don’t think I’d be able to ever kill the pig though. I’d probably give it a cute name and that would be it. It’d be part of the family and another mouth to feed. Maybe I should stick to Chickens?

  2. I appreciate your consideration for the approaching chaos and I would start making a kit and hoarding a bit myself if I weren’t already predestined to be one of the people to unleash the hell that will be coming forth. =P

  3. Maybe you can just start filling up some of those babies, put them in your attic or basement and drop Iodine tablets in them when Doom comes. That way you’ll even have your own water supply when Earth dries up.

  4. The most hilarious thing I have ever heard of as a “survival tool” came out of a massive survival guide I received as a gift last year. The book tells you how to survive should you be trapped in almost any environment without access to humanity. This gem though, is hard to pass up, THE STRAW: The straw is a very important survival tool when you are lost in the woods. You can use the straw, (you can’t make this stuff up), to add flavor back to your water after it has lost its taste when you boil it to remove bacteria. Important because, “hey, you found water! Great! Oh, you boiled it so that it would be safer to drink, well, I guess I’m not that thirsty, I don’t have a straw and I am really picky about how my survival water tastes.” One might say, gee, can’t I just blow bubbles with my mouth? Apparently, no, you MUST have a straw. As an aside, I carry a little one in my purse now, so can I too join the group?

  5. “When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of “apocalypse”. -Riley, BTVS.

  6. Awesome.
    I am gradual nonchalant prepper as well.
    I am prepared as well but I try not to bring to much attention to myself about it. I don’t wanna be labeled that crazy lady on the street just yet.

  7. Absolutely. When the Apocalypse comes, your paranoia will make perfect sense.

    P.S. Can’t you just use iodine tablets. They’ll take up a lot less space in your kit, and be better for mobility.

  8. Steven S. Walsky says:

    Should I be visiting your area when the apocalypse takes place, I will be sure to stop by and partake of your precious tub water…wait, problem one, finding your refuge, as maps will become useless because either the streets no longer exist or they are non-passable due to zombies, and two, knowing others will be stopping by, Captain Thoughtful will probably take a bath and then tell you that he was sooooooooooooo glad that you had the tub water because the shower did not work. 🙂

  9. I’ve got that thing 🙂

    You just have to make sure you fill it before, or immediately after, the electricity goes out in case of disaster (tornado, huricane, zombies, etc.). Most water supply in our state is gravity fed from water storage towers. Doesn’t require electricity to get from the water tower/tank to your home, but once that resource is depleted there aren’t any pumps working to refill it – so that’s when the water stops arriving at your house. In a pinch – you can also get drinkable water from your water heater via the drain valve at the bottom even if you don’t have water pressure.

    It makes me nuts that there was an entire week of warnings before Sandy hit the east coast – yet thousands of people were stuck with no gasoline, no food, and no water only a day or two after the storm. That’s nuts. You can’t protect yourself from everything, but if a little forethought keeps me from having to shiver and dumpster dive for food I think its worth the investment.

    1. I knew you would! 🙂

      Thanks for all the tips on how to use it! Fingers crossed that this is waiting for me under the Christmas tree this year!

      And I agree, things like this are absolutely worth the investment. 🙂

  10. Whoa… I’m still not sold on all this apocalypse stuff, but this thing’s actually pretty cool. Can I get on the apocalypse team? I’ve prepped nothing but a few hundred bottles of wine. And I can play guitar so there will at least be entertainment.

  11. According to the video you will have 100 gallons of fresh water for “cooking, drinking, washing and FLUSHING.” Okay I totes get the first three, but do you really need fresh water to flush. Seems a bit of a waste.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s