Weddings Are Hilarious

So, this is apparently the point in the wedding planning when YOU PANIC ABOUT EVERYTHING. All of the sudden everything is HAPPENING and you are NOT PREPARED. My wedding dress is on it’s way to Austin right this minute but I don’t have shoes or accessories or even know if it’s going to fit properly because all of the sudden it’s so apparent how much weight I’ve gained even though I’ve lost weight and is this going to be one of those dramatic moments where the dress won’t zip up and then I cry and cry and cry and everyone tells me it’s going to work our but THE WORLD IS ENDING because my dress won’t fit. And also, the world might really be ending a day before I get married and WHY DIDN’T I THINK ABOUT THAT???
And now I’m second guessing decision I previously thought were great and what color shoes should my bridesmaids wear and what should we do for our wedding favors and we need to buy a chalkboard to put in front of the chapel and make a map and whats hsould I get my bridesmaids as gifts and we need to get some professional pictures taken and I have a bridal shower and a bachelorette party and what should I wear to those and why are there so many details and why can’t I keep up with them and what wine tastes best with BBQ and what songs are we going to play in the ceremony and what song do we want to play for our introduction should the father daughter dance be serious or funny and what color should I paint my nails what happens if I get a zit what if I start my period what if no one RSVPs what if EVERYONE RSVPs????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
But no really, wedding planning is totally going well.

43 thoughts on “Weddings Are Hilarious

  1. As someone who is currently working as a Wedding Planner I can tell you that really there is a solution to any and every situation & let me tell you I have had a few horror situations.

    But from the sounds of it you are very very prepared! And just as Tori Nelson said no-one will notice the little hiccups on the day!

    Good Luck 🙂

  2. You have wonderful support from your family, friends and your readers! I think you will have the best day of your life, up until that day. You may surpass it on days that you may have a baby or a special occasion but the way it falls into place is always amazing. Love to you and your Captain! Glad to read about it throughout these past months.

  3. Sixty days. You’re going to be a seasonal bride. I hope you don’t get the “I didn’t think you wanted a holiday gift AND a wedding gift” excuse.

    That’s just rude.

  4. Don’t worry, things go wrong, things get fixed. My dress was altered and I went for the final fitting one week before the wedding. It didn’t fit. It really didn’t fit. The girl in the shop looked more upset than me (I was numb). They said they’d alter it and send it to me. It arrived the afternoon before the wedding and fitted like a dream.

    Glad it is going well – how long to go now?

  5. Breathe!!! Breathe!!!
    Create a check list. Take care of the ones you can do right now like deciding songs and stuff.
    Remember you can only handle so much. And it only has to be perfect to you and no one else. Forget the stuff you have no control over like the monthly curse.

    Love you. Best of luck and again congrats!! And don’t forget to enjoy it!!!

  6. Tammy says:

    I’d get married again a thousand times, in spite of it all.

    Type of gal you are, it’ll be great! God bless you all!

  7. Stop. Breathe. Breathe some more.

    Now. Nobody is going to remember your shoes or accessories – don’t sweat them. Bridesmaids gifts? I’ve gotten an engraved champagne flute and a pearl solitaire necklace. I never use the champagne flute but I have worn the pearl solitaire. I know photographers, in fact the one who was photographer for my wedding moved to Texas (but he does work in Wisconsin still, too) https://www.facebook.com/imagebyfuad. Go “timeless” with nails and makeup.

    How’s that? Unless of course you were being rhetorical… in which case – ignore all that and I’m glad it’s going well!

  8. You’re normal. We all do (at least I did) that. In the end it worked out ok-I figured everything fit and he showed up, that was good.

    You could do a blog post for suggestions for all of the above. Could be interesting some of the feedback you get from all of us crazy people out there!

    Hang in there-weddings ARE hilarious, in many ways. I have the video to prove it.

  9. Steven S. Walsky says:

    Definitely nerves…” and whats should”. As for the zipper question, easy: duct tape. What wine tastes best with BBQ is an interesting, and obviously an important question, because I Googled it and, seriously, I got 25,400,000 results in 0.28 seconds.

    This is a hit from Austin on Chowhound:
    “Is it just me, or does anyone else enjoy a Merlot and BBQ? I know, I know I’m at risk of being called not really Texan. But I assure you folks I was born and breed right here in the Beer and BBQ Nation. As a matter of fact, my father cooked all of my life with him on the BBQ cook off circuit. So I know my Q. But lately I’ve been spending lots of time in Italy and my wine taste is growing. Breaking all Lone Star Nation rules I started mixing the vino and the beef. And to my pleasure they match well. A great slice of brisket and a nice merlot are perfect for each other. Am I alone here, Should I turn in my boots and tongs?”

    The answers went all over the wine charts, so I surmise, as a Southern BBQ lover, it’s the BBQ that is important.

    You’re doing fine! Steve

  10. One box of wine… maybe a little Nyquil. Always does the trick! Ahhh, I’m just kidding (no, seriously, don’t try that. I think it’s specifically listed on the warning label). The good news is (at least what I found…. after months of wigging out) the wedding will be just fine. We had a few million mishaps, mismatched bridesmaids, musicians I never met until I winked at them as I walked down the aisle, a too-tight girdle (which sounds like it should be impossible), and a few drunk relatives teetering dangerously close to the edge of our rooftop venue. But it was a wedding. It was fun. No one will notice the little hiccups that day. Just breath, have a drink, and show up!

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