Weddings Are Hilarious

Really, this post isn’t about our wedding. It’s about the proposal. But it’s still hilarious. Kind of. I probably should have titled this post something else.
As most of you know, I am not a great flyer. And by that I mean that flying is absolutely terrifying and I would rather walk a thousand miles then fly one. But, I understand that walking isn’t very time efficient and so I occasionally have to face my fear and get on an airplane. This is very brave of me and I expect y’all to tell me so. The day that Captain Thoughtful proposed to me we were on a plane all day flying to the far-off land of Ohio to spend the weekend with his family. I had no clue that Captain Thoughtful was planning on proposing to me that weekend and even if I had a clue, it would have been pushed to the back of my brain by the terror I had at getting on the airplane. Our first flight, was extremely bumpy and we were in one of those tiny airplanes that you most frequently see burning in a field because it crashed because FLYING IS DANGEROUS. And for some reason out seats had gotten mixed up and we were seated a few rows apart. Luckily, the nice man sitting next to me was a former pilot and noticed my white knuckles and fear filled eyes, he talked me through every bump and let me know that they were “totally routine” to which I replied “routinely leading to a crash” and he chuckled because he thought I was joking but I wasn’t. Our second flight was MUCH WORSE THAN THE FIRST. It was the kind of turbulence where the entire place is lurching from side to side and is totally the type of turbulence they show planes having before they crash in the movies. And about halfway through the flight I had a full blown panic attack. Convinced we were going to die, I buried my head in Captain Thoughtful’s shoulder and cried and cried and hyperventilated and cried and told him I loved him and hyperventilated and desperately fought to pull myself together, which I didn’t until we finally landed safely. Then, I ran to the nearest bathroom and tried to compose myself before I met Captain Thoughtful’s family for the first time.
My panic attack left me completely drained and almost numb. Happily, Captain Thoughtful’s Β amazing family made me feel right at home and welcomed me warmly, so I was able to relax and enjoy our time there. Later that night, we went to the baseball field where Captain Thoughtful played in college (I know, it’s super hot). It was there that he proposed in the most spectacular and thoughtful way possible. I was completely surprised and that made it all the more special.
Later, he told me how he was afraid I was going to find out because he ket fidgeting with the box and checking his backpack to make sure it was safe and hidden. But, of course I didn’t notice because I was too busy having a panic attack on the airplane. Which, in retrospect was completely awesome because had I been calm, I would definitely have noticed that something was up and it would have completely ruined the proposal surprise.
I may be the only person in the world who is thankful for a panic attack. But only that one, because it actually helped make that day one of the best of my life. True story.

24 thoughts on “Weddings Are Hilarious

  1. This is so cute. My proposal was awkward. He TOLD ME he was going to propose to me at Disneyland, and then the day before we left for our trip, I was sitting in the living room in my pajamas playing a video game, and he walked in all dressed up for some reason. Next thing I know he’s on one knee, apologizing for not waiting til Disney, but he “didn’t want to propose while we were both wearing shorts.”

  2. This is hysterical! I thought you were going to say that he proposed in front of his entire family after the flight, but you couldn’t react because you were so numb, therefore leaving a less-than-happy first impression upon his family, dooming you to years of difficult misunderstandings and skeptical stares across tables.

  3. Thank goodness for panic attacks, they help mask great surprise! Love it-that’s a great story. πŸ™‚

    My marriage proposal didn’t involve a panic attack, but definite panic. Long ago when we were just dating my then boyfriend showed up at my work unexpectedly. When I came out of my classroom I could see him standing up at the front desk and he looked like something was really wrong. As I walked toward him, he looked angry. I was thinking “Oh what the hell did I do?” He saw me coming down the hall and almost growls at me, “I have something I have to ask you RIGHT NOW!” Horrible thoughts raced through my head. I’m thinking that my ex-boyfriend’s wife has tried to stab him to get back at me, or he’s heard some horrible rumor about my past and is through with me, something awful like that. He told me he had to talk to me in private. Oh that’s even worse. He’s going to break up with me at work and everyone will know! I took him out on the playground, because it’s naptime, and that’s private, right? He got down on one knee and proposed. I was so relieved I wasn’t in trouble for something that I didn’t know about. I had no idea that’s what he wanted.

    Oh, and I said yes. We’ve been married thirteen years.

  4. So I’m on a plane right now (thank you Delta wifi) and am also not what you would call “a strong flyer”. And I’m also a complete paranoid freak when it comes to flying so I almost had a panic attack reading your post. But you made me laugh …which momentarily made me forget I am hurtling through space in a sardine can of doom. I have to fly a lot for business and have found that a mix of xanax and wine make the process a whole lot easier. Of course that means that by the time I arrive at my client’s office I’m usually a wee bit stone, but I don’t think they notice…much. Thanks for making me laugh.

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