Wedding Are Hilarious

Apparently, wedding nightmares are a thing. At least, they’re a thing that’s happening to me almost every night. I have nighttime wedding terrors in which I wake-up in a cold sweat sure that I’ve ruined the day for everyone by not coordinating dinner appropriately or somehow ending up with too many brownies and not enough pies. I’ve dreamt that I cried the entire day, from joy obviously, but that I wasn’t able to stop crying once and that all my pictures were ruined because of my ugly crying face. I had a dream the other night that our venue double booked our wedding day and we had to get married in a road and take all our guests for pizza afterward- which, as badass as it might sound, is not what we have planned at all. I keep dreaming that the bridal store ordered me the completely wrong dress and I’m going to have to fight with a heavy ballgown all night.

These nightmares have got to stop. They’re not particularly scary but they’re are extremely annoying because now I’m worrying that all these thing might actually happen because remember that one time I told you I might be a touchย clairvoyant? However, I think I have a plan. Maybe, just maybe, if I watch things that actually scare me, I’ll have nightmares about those things instead of wedding things. So, in an effort to not be afraid that my wedding is going to be a disaster, I’m going to watch movies about dinosaurs, aliens, and crocodiles (which are really just dinosaurs and why aren’t they extinct??? They’re like invincible dinosaurs. Except we can kill them. But nature can’t kill them like it did the rest of the dinosaurs and that’s pretty damn scary). ย Or, you know, I might not sleep for the next two months.

39 thoughts on “Wedding Are Hilarious

  1. I am ridiculously afraid of dinosaurs and crocodiles! Also sharks. Have you seen the movie Komodo? It’s not the most terrifying movie but it is entertaining.

  2. The best thing is all of the nightmares about weddings will end after the event! I wish you pleasant, sweet dreams and don’t worry, everything will fall into place and the little bumps will seem funny someday!

  3. Oh my. Does this mean Steven Spielberg might be coming into your life?! I was wondering how you were doing with the wedding planning!

    Please put me down for two slices of veggie pizza.

  4. Not like I am one to say I told you so, but, perhaps this is what you get for planning the End of the World themed wedding. But, I wouldn’t worry unless you start dreaming that your wedding is interrupted by Armageddon-esque events. Dreaming that you are crying from happiness? I could see it creating some sleepless nights, but at least you aren’t dreaming that your dress suddenly transfigures into a swarm of locusts leaving you naked at the alter to dodge a deluge of frogs, right before all the guests turn into zombies and the floor in front of you splits open in to a huge gaping pit of flames. Now if you start dreaming these dreams you might want to heed your clairvoyant tendencies. You might, or you might not. I’m just saying. End of the World wedding…

    All joking aside, I’m sure everything will be perfect.

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  6. I had wedding nightmares too. Most of them involved something going wrong with the paperwork, or the priest getting angry and not showing up, so in the end we weren’t really married. Several also included all the guests being angry and annoyed for various ridiculous reasons. At least any actual day-of problems invariably seem minor compared to the dreams!

  7. I transposed that first line to say something along the lines of “weddings ARE nightmares”, which they certainly CAN be, but I’m sure YOURS won’t be. I wouldn’t give it another thought…..really….. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Emma Semple says:

    You will just have to be prepared with water proof make up, and a billion tissues so you can keep your face looking lovely even if you do cry all day.

  9. I totally know how you feel! Before my wedding I had all kind of nightmares. In one, my wedding snuck up on me and I didn’t even have a DJ or shoes yet (day ruined, obviously). In another one, I dreamed someone was selling wedding dresses right outside my reception venue so that all my female guests could wear white to my wedding. That one was. completely. terrifying. I think I woke up crying! BUT none of them actually happened and my wedding was perfect, so I’m sure the same will be true for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. I like where your heads at. Perhaps, you need a good cry. You could watch a really sad movie about real life problems to put that dreaming mind at ease. Let it all out while you are awake and go to bed feeling thankful that’s not your life. It’s got to be a real tear jerker: My Life, Terms of Endearment, Awakening etc.

  11. Well, it’s better having nightmares about your weeding being gate-crashed by a donkey wearing you mother’s dress saying “BRING OUT THE CHEESE!!” than turning up to your wedding with massive great black patches under your eyes because of not enough sleep! Either way, you have makeup!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. I am not married but I imagine that if/when I ever do, I will have nightmares, too. I think it’s inevitable with something you’re thinking about so often. I still have nightmares that I forgot my high school locker combo, that I showed up late to a test unprepared, that I forgot my dance routine in the middle of the stage.

  13. Once I’d got married I was a much stronger person. Not because I’d got a husband to lean on (I lent on him in sin pre-wedding) but because I had done all that organizing and in the process gone out of my comfort zone so many times that afterwards I thought “If I can do that I can do anything!”

    Wedding planning is tough. Fact. But it might just make you stronger. Look at you all ready to head out of your comfort zone and look at the dino movies!

  14. Steven S. Walsky says:

    Not one to normally take seriously what I see in movies, I feel that the Good Witch Cassandra Nightingaleโ€™s advice to Lori Russell has stood the test of time (OK, TV time, but scientifically, I think, one hour of TV time is equal to 10 years of human breathing time?). If you want to stop having bad wedding dreams, you have to keep from dreaming about bunnies, so repeat to yourself over and over โ€œI will not dream of bunnies.โ€ ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Go to the dream mood dictionary and look this stuff up. I started using it as a tool (albeit things are never exactly the same and I have to think outside the box) to help me understand my dreams. I’ve really not had nightmares since. Dreams seldom mean exactly what you see in the dream. It’s usually just symbol meaning something else, although in your case, I’d say it’s just some hidden anxieties already in your subconscious because this is such an exciting time for you.

    Speaking of strange dreams: I dreamt the other day there were crocodiles all over my car, crawling on it, and their feet and toes were sticking in the window (not to try and eat me, they were just climbing on the car) and I was worried they would scratch me so I was trying to roll the windows up, but then I had to move the car so I gunned the engine and the crocs went sliding off and it was so funny to me.

    My mother dreamt once that she and my dad were puppets. You being a muppet fan, I wouldn’t find that unusual for you to dream!

    Your wedding will go fine at any rate. Don’t worry. The pizza does sound very metal though. ๐Ÿ˜€

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