And Then I Ran Out Of Toilet Paper

Y’all, over the last couple of weeks, I have somehow (magic is involved I suspect) overcome anxiety attacks, work stresses, wedding planning hiccups, meeting Captain Thoughtful’s entire extended family, reading at my future sister’s wedding, being surrounded by cats that make me oh so itchy and sneezy, and flying in 4 different airplanes. Sure, I may be a little ragged, sure I’m exhausted, but, gosh darn-it, I *did* it. And I did it without completely losing my mind, and I did it with a genuine smile on my face because I’m happy. Stressed, but happy.

So, I started this week feeling like I had a handle on things. And then I got sick. Sore throat, runny nose, fever, body aches. But, hey, I can handle a little cold. I stocked up on OJ and medicine and remained determined to make it through this week. And then I woke up in the middle of the night with a very sick stomach. And then, on my 4th trip to the bathroom at 3am, I ran out of toilet paper.
And then I laughed. Because, really?

32 thoughts on “And Then I Ran Out Of Toilet Paper

  1. If its not one thing, its another with you! Sorry about the toilet paper shortage but glad you had the kleenex! Oh, and you did survive a lot this week, with family and sickness. Hope your weekend is splendid!


    OK, that pun was truly not intended. Just keep a washcloth nearby, keep calm and carry on. Best that all of this adverse luck work its way out before December. Get a good whoooosah going and refocus. *air kisses to my sister princess*

  3. My mother would have DIED. And I don’t mean that in the figurative sense. I mean that she literally would have fallen off the porcelain throne and had a seizure or something equally as awful. When she gets down to like…19 rolls of toilet paper, she starts to have a panic attack and has to go buy 36 more rolls, all of which get stacked on the shaky, cheaply made piece of plastic shelving situated (with one leg on a small pile of books) over her toilet. I am not even kidding you…it’s like a toilet paper shrine in there. I say all this because, I too, even after having a toilet paper hoarding mother like mine, have run out of toilet paper at (shall we say) an inopportune time. The only thing to do is turn the shit sniffer on and laugh until you wake someone up.

  4. lnzskp1 says:

    I had the flu last week, and as I sat on the throne, I actually thought “we picked the wrong week to buy the small package of toilet paper.”

  5. Fall allergies are kicking Mrs. Paladin’s and my respective butts right now so I can sympathize. Neither one of us have been able to sleep more than an hour at a stretch in almost a week, without waking up to sneeze, blow, or whatever. As usual, when the ragweed is really bad, it eventually ends up moving from our heads to our chests.

    Then each evening we sit together on the couch watching TV and coughing together like some weird coalminer duet.

    It’s romantic πŸ™‚

    Hope you feel better soon!

      1. I’m happy that you see it that way too. A lot of folks don’t get that. I have a friend who, when she’s at the home of her current boyfriend, won’t excuse herself to go to the restroom. She says it would “spoil the romance”.

        Until they have a husband that will wipe their behind for them after they’ve had surgery because they can’t do it themself… or, until they’ve had to clean up their man’s vomit from a bed (and him) because he got trampled by a horse and the pain is so bad he throws up all over the place… It’s hard to explain what *real* romance is.

        I didn’t even make wisecracks about the hiney wiping thing.

        Ok, I confess. I totally did… but I waited for an appropriate amount of time to pass before doing so πŸ™‚

  6. “Dust of Snow

    The way a crow
    Shook down on me
    The dust of snow
    From a hemlock tree

    Has given my heart
    A change of mood
    And saved some part
    Of a day I had rued.”

    -Robert Frost

  7. Humor does wonders. Laughing at yourself, and uncomfortable, awful situations in life does prevent the tears from coming. I know from experience. I just started a new job this week, and will be starting a new internship as well. I’m terrified but all you can do is laugh about it.

  8. “‘You’re altogether too full of bobance and bounce and high spirits. You’ve got to learn that life isn’t all fricasseed frogs and eel pie. You want something to sober you down a bit.” -Puddleglum, The Silver Chair.

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