It’s my little sister’s birthday y’all!! And for her birthday, and because I’m the best big sister on the face of the planet (that’s not bragging, it’s just science), I’m going to make her three promises today.
1. I birthday promise, that I won’t hug you if you don’t want me to. (But you probably do because another scientific fact is that I give the best hugs on the planet)
2. I birthday promise, that I won’t ask you any questions about that guy I accidentally saw was texting you. Even though I am DYING to ask you a question about him but I won’t because that’s my birthday promise to you. However, just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m DYING. I might literally die from curiosity (like a cat). Which would probably ruin your birthday. So you should tell me. But, I’m not going to ask because I promised. You’re welcome.
3. I birthday promise, that I will totally binge eat chili cheese fries with you tonight in celebration. Because that’s how much I love you! (And also how much I love chili cheese fries. But, I totally love you more than chili cheese fries, it’s just a happy coincidence that eating something I love further proves my love for you.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER O’ MINE. I love your guts and I’m so proud to be your sister!!!!
*Please note that birthday promises only last for the day of your birthday. At the stroke of midnight tonight, all goes back to the way it was. Like Cinderella. But with without all the pumpkin to clean up after.