Making Fun Of My Fear Makes Me Braver. Probably.

Remember when I posted about my Riddikulus theory about fears known worldwide as “The Boggart Theory”? Well, this post is me trying to put that into practice. I have to get on an airplane tomorrow and I am anxious to say the least and TERRIFIED to say the most. Especially because my last flights were absolutely pee in your pants scary and I’m not exactly great at flying under the best of conditions, so yeah, cue terror. However, as per my Boggart theory, I’m going to try and turn this fear into something funny so it doesn’t seem so scary after all. So, this is that.

Hey fear of flying on airplanes! You’re so ugly that Hello Kitty said Goodbye to you! BAZINGA!

You think you’re too cool for school don’t you fear of flying? Well, I have news for you, you aren’t. (I’ll admit it, I stole that directly from Zoolander)

Hey! Fear of flying! You’re a dumbass! BOOM!

So, it seems like maybe I’m not great at mocking my fears. Maybe sarcasm?

Yeah, fear of flying, you’re *so* scary. I’m like shaking in my boots. (Eye roll)

Fear of flying you’re the coolest of all fears. Not. (Eye roll)

Ok-I feel a little more comfortable with sarcasm but I think I’m still missing the optimum way to funny my fears into non-existence. Any suggestions?

17 thoughts on “Making Fun Of My Fear Makes Me Braver. Probably.

  1. I am a horrible sister princess–too late for your hour of need. I tend to think of flights as extended rides on the kiddie coaster at the amusement park–the worst part is the initial takeoff, so I just grab my seat handle, close my eyes and swallow until we’re over the hump. At least be comforted that you will probably never wind up on the same flight at Mitt Romney, constantly in fear that he might try to open the window.

  2. I have been flying for over 20 years for work. Sometimes more than twice a week. I can honestly tell you the worst things that have ever happened are the following:

    1. The man sitting next to me who thought my left breast was public property
    2. The man sitting next to me who thought he should fall asleep and drool on me.
    3. TSA
    4. Bad food
    5. Children behind me kicking my seat
    6. Screaming babies
    7. Lost luggage

    Honestly, those are the worst. Take a good book, long flight? Take two. Take deep breaths and relax.

  3. fear of flying? Go to sleep! I always force myself to sleep during any journey. I do this by making sure I do not get enough sleep the night before and I wear myself out… Downside, U might be an ugly sleeper and give other passengers something to laugh about…lol

    But on a more serious note, get closer to God and have faith that you are divinely protected. Also believe that you are the ‘safety’ of any plane or bus or train or car that you enter. i.e, because of you, nothing will go wrong and everyone is safe!

  4. Photography by Gisele Morgan says:

    “Hey fear of flying on airplanes! You’re so ugly that Hello Kitty said Goodbye to you! BAZINGA!”

    I will definitely remember this one when I’m facing my 12 hrs flight next month 🙂

  5. I got no jokes, ‘cuz I’m not a joke kinda person, but I have my own theory about stuff like this that I’ll inflict on you . I think the strategy of laughing at one’s fears stems from a desire to cheat death, once you boil it all down. That’s what most of us “fear” most, after all. I’m not scared of flying – I’m scared of plumeting to the ground in a big ol’ ball of fire.

    It’s a deeply routed thing in our psyche to personify death as “Death”. Once you’ve made death (the thing) into Death (the Being) the hope arises that you can escape your fate in the end through cleverness or humor in some way. There are two main camps among the people who embrace the personification of Death.

    1. Those that see Death as the one that actively kills you when you die. He is the one that picks whose turn it is to meet their maker, and exactly how they suffle off the mortal coil. He has some degree of leeway in the performance of his duties, albeit a very small amount. While its impossible to escape the inevitable end, it may be possible to outsmart him or appeal to his sense of humor in some way and delay one’s doom.

    2. Those that see Death as a being that simply escorts you from here to there in the end, where ever “there” is. They are a guide of sorts. Death doens’t decide who dies, or how they die, but Death is who you’ll first see when you’re crossing over.

    I’m in Camp number 2, myself. I see Death very much as the character in Terry Pratchett’s books, if you’ve read them. I am willing to accept the possiblilty that I’m wrong, though, and I’m open to the viewpoints of others. At least until I’m eventually proven correct….

    Who knows?… You’re pretty damned funny, GotC. Maybe you CAN turn old Death into the “Grin Reaper” after all 🙂

  6. ” Let’s play another game. I know what.

    FO: What?

    (The Captain picks up a microphone.)

    C: (over intercom): ‘Hello, this is your Captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm.’ That will get them thinking.

    (First Officer reaches for the microphone.)

    C: No, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. Let it sink in. They will be thinking, er, ‘What is there absolutely no cause for alarm about? Are the wings on fire? (over intercom) ‘The wings are not on fire.’ Now they are thinking, er, ‘Why should he say that?” -Monty Python, the Airplane Sketch.

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