This weekend, I decided to push my fear limits by watching a movie I knew contained aliens in it, so Captain Thoughtful and I rented Battleship. Girl on the Contrary commentary in 5..4..3..2..1..
Ok Liam Neeson, you get one more chance from me. Umm, why don’t we ever here about these scientific developments that are probably going to get us killed by aliens? They need to warn us about this shiz. Wait. Are these real scientific developments? Because that guy is talking in an English accent so I’m inclined to believe whatever he is saying. WHOA. Tim Riggins is in this? And Eric from Trueblood? Jackpot! Dude- Tim Riggins and Eric are brothers- so far, I really like this movie. Hey! Don’t taze Tim Riggins bro! Landry is in this movie too??? It’s like a Friday Night Lights reunion on a battleship!! You know something? I bet $10 that Liam Neeson changes his mind about Tim Riggins by the end of this movie. I have a feeling Tim Riggins will come through in the end. Rhianna, this is not an exercise, it’s ALIENS!!!! Prepare yourself. Man. Aliens are the worst, the just killed Eric the vampire. The jokes on them though because Tim Riggins is out for revenge. NOOOOOOOO! Damn it. They’re going to show real aliens- not just robots. This is becoming increasingly terrifying. Hey. People. Listen up: Whenever you think the alien is dead HE IS NOT, he is alive and he will try to kill you when he wakes up. Let’s learn some lessons here. See? I knew Landry would help save the day. Landry is the best! Yay! They have a plan! They have a plan to kill the aliens!!! Huzzah! Now, that’s what I call solar power (Get it? Because they use the sun to kill some aliens.) Bada Bing! What? They’re getting the USS Missouri back in action! THAT. IS. AWESOME. And they’re enlisting actual WWII veterans to help them man it and kill the aliens!! THAT. IS. EVEN. MORE. AWESOME. YES!!!!! Take that aliens! WWII vets are coming for you! Huzzah! We win!
And so does Liam Neeson, because I have totally forgiven him for The Grey. He is definitely back in my good graces. You guys, I feel like this movie got panned by critics, but I’m not even going to lie- I LOVED IT. Seriously, even though aliens scare me half to death, I was so into this movie that I was able to put my fears aside and get super amped by this movie. I thought the writing was actually pretty clever, and a lot of the jokes were tongue in cheek making fun of themselves and I quite liked it. Also, they used actual WWII vets and an actual veteran who had lost both his legs and he got to punch an alien in the face and was just an all around bad ass. This movie is pretty much the definition of bad ass and I loved it. I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s true. I loved Battleship.