At The Movies With Girl on the Contrary

So, this is a thing where I watch a movie and then record everything I say/do during the movie. Also, you should know I’m watching these movies from the comfort of my own couch where I can yell out and blog about what I’m watching as much as I like. Because I’ve found people don’t like it much when I do that in a movie theater. I mean, I could be wrong, but they kind of seem to hate it.

This is me watching The Grey with Liam Neeson. Please note, there are spoilers.

It’s Aslan’s voice! Hmmm, I sense a tragedy in this man’s past. Yep. He just said it. Nailed it. WHAT?! Homie just shot a wolf. A WOLF. I like it better when people just dance with them like that nice Kevin Costner. No! Don’t kill yourself Liam! Whew- he didn’t do it. No no no! Do NOT get on an airplane covered in ice. I feel like this is common sense. Why are people getting on that plane? Dermot Mulroney?! Yay! Oh no! I KNEW you shouldn’t get on an airplane covered in ice. I just knew it! Also, I feel like maybe I’ll never get on any airplane anywhere ever again. Ick. A wolf is eating that lady….AAAGGGGHHH Liam Neeson is fighting a wolf with his bare hands!! Dude, I bet that the brother wolf to the one he killed earlier. At the very least it’s probably a second cousin seeking vengeance. What does that guy mean “How does he know about wolves?”? Didn’t he see Taken? I feel like Liam was pretty clear about having “A particular set of skills.”

(And then I hid my head under a blanket for like 45 minutes because WOLVES WERE EATING PEOPLE. Or, more specifically and way more horrifyingly, THEY WERE MURDERING PEOPLE WITH THEIR TEETH. So, yeah, head under blanket.)

Umm, I’m sorry, you can NOT jump off a cliff and into trees and not get hurt. That’s just not a thing that happens. No! Dermot Mulroney! Noooooooooooo!!!! This is the most depressing and hopeless movie ever. All is lost! All is lost! There is no hope or happiness! Wait. Are you kidding me? *That* is how this ends? No. Unacceptable. You do not get to make a movie that has me hiding under blankets, sobbing, and forsaking all hope, and then not give me a definite conclusion. You owe me an ice cream Liam, I’m holding you responsible for this. 

That movie wasn’t grey like a rainy day, it was black like the part of the night when WOLVES COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND MURDER YOU. That’s real talk y’all. I found this movie upsetting. And poor Captain Thoughtful had to sit through it with me, bless his heart.

26 thoughts on “At The Movies With Girl on the Contrary

  1. I am such a fan of Liam and now, I definitely will skip this movie. Isn’t there a new one coming up with him in it? Of course, I could look it up.But this time it better be a good one like “Taken” or there is a sexy scene with him lifting his kilt in “Rob Roy” if you don’t mind the history part.

  2. Did you wait til the credits ended…. it shows him laying on the wolf he killed. It “looks” like he survived… or at least kicked some major booty.
    Here’s to a spin off- Wolves take the daughter of Liam again like in the movie Taken… this time he has to ride a lion to the secret location and have a dance off with the Alpha Male…
    I am excited!!

    1. What? No- I had to go get a tissue when it was over because I couldn’t see for the tears. But I’m pretty sure I would have been even more angry had I seen that. Sheesh. How about a little plot resolution people???

  3. Dear Girl on the Contrary,

    On our Honeymoon in Colorado, we very much enjoyed listened to the coyotes on the other side of our cabin wall. I figured you’d want to know since you’re probably planning your honeymoon. Let me know if you want contact info, because the only thing more fun than wolves is coyotes… 😉

  4. Thanks for the evening laugh especially after spending the last 12 hours in the car. Oh and thanks for the warning of what not to watch 🙂

    1. I had never heard of RiffTrax until today- so I googled it and it is so awesome!!! Do you really think I could do that? Because that would kind of be SPECTACULAR and would make my life.

      1. You need to download the Twilight riff trax… it will change your life… and of course it never hurts to buy the whole box set of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

  5. THANK YOU. This is what I’m saying about this movie. Deep, dark, black despair. I was SO TICKED OFF about the ending.

    I forgive you for bringing these feelings back, and in fact am sorry that you had to go through this experience, too. And C.T.!

  6. “I’m hunger. I’m thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy’s body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood, and not burst. Show me your enemies.” -The werewolf, Prince Caspian. Although, considering “Taken”, this might very well be a good description of Liam Neeson too. Talk about skills.

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