Who Is Tom?

Remember on Monday when I told you about how I’m getting a lot of phone calls for Tom? Well, yesterday, I got another phone call for Tom, this time it was from his ex-wife.

 Me: Hello?
Tom’s Ex-Wife: Oh…I’m sorry, I have the wrong number. I was looking for my ex-husband. 
 
Me: Is his name Tom? 
 
Tom’s Ex-Wife: Yes……
 
Me: Yeah, I think this used to be his number. I’ve only had it for about a month and I’ve been getting a lot of phone calls for him. 
 
Tom’s Ex-Wife: Oh no! I’m so sorry. He’s an idiot. 
 
Me: Oh, it’s not a problem. 
 
Tom’s Ex-Wife: I can only imagine the calls you’ve had to deal with. 
 
Me: It’s no problem. 
 
Tom’s Ex-Wife. I’m so sorry! 
 
Me: Really, it’s ok. 
 
Tom’s Ex-Wife: Alright, thank you, bye.
 
Me: Bye. 
I’m really starting to feel involved in Tom’s life. I mean, did he and his wife divorce because of the issues that caused his viagra use? Or was it because of all the debt he has (I’ve gotten a lot of calls for him from debt collectors)? Or was it something else I’ve yet to discover because I haven’t gotten the call yet? What happened to Tom? Why do I have his number? Has he gone off the grid? If so, why? Was it just to escape the viagra salesmen, debt collectors, and his ex-wife? Or, was it because he is on a super-secret mission? Is Tom a spy? And, if he is a spy, who is he a spy for? Am I about to get dragged into a real-life spy thriller? Will I uncover that I too have spy-powers and can disarm someone with only a paper clip and sassy catchphrases? WHO IS TOM?

48 thoughts on “Who Is Tom?

  1. Oh how funny!! Definitely get involved! I’d start taking messages, not disclosing his number has changed, ask what the call is in reference too, say you’re his assistant, etc to glean as much info as possible!! Just such a fun break in the day and an interesting story for us!!

  2. 5kidswdisabilities says:

    Oh, TOM!!!! I get calls for a man whose name is the same as my husband’s. When they ask for him, I say yes it is his house, until they start asking for money owed, legal questions, complaints and so forth and I tell them they want the OTHER Raymond Petersen….yeh, RIGHT, they say!!!

  3. At first, I was 100% sure this was my beloved Tom Bury (the designer) from “Restaurant: Impossible,” but I know in my heart of hearts he does not need any…pharmaceutical aid.

    I will get to the bottom of this.

    Just don’t change your number. I may need more evidence.

  4. This strangely reminds me of Jeff Who Lives at Home. Except you aren’t unemployed. and probably won’t follow someone around that has TOM on his shirt. 🙂

  5. A paperclip in the eye would do a substantial amount of damage…
    I think, perhaps, you were meant to be Tom’s partner in super-secret spy missions and you having his number is just a test to see if you can find out what happened to him, where he went and of course, whether he renewed his Viagra prescription or not. Should you pass all these tests & unravel the mysteries of Tom’s life, you may find that you’re needed to solve other mysteries no one else can fathom. Like…why cheese smells so ridiculously gross, but tastes so good or why secretly wearing a sexy pair of underwear somehow makes you feel a tiny bit better on a crappy day even though no one else is meant to see it. These are important questions to have answered. I think you may be the girl for the job. I think Tom agrees.

  6. I think it’s time to see how deep this Rabbit hole goes. Next time it happens you tell them to hold the line, put them on hold for a few seconds and come back by telling them that the line is secure and you are awaiting orders. Issue Protocol 38, Operation Alternate Identi-Tom is a go!

  7. Oh this made my day! Now I am curious…who is Tom?? What happened to him?? You should have asked the ex what his last name was so you could look into it more! Or better yet, call the Viagra people and give them your number and ask what name they have because you need to change that…. Looking forward to hearing more about “Ton”

  8. This is hilarious. It seems pretty obvious why Tom changed his phone number, and who he didn’t tell. Sorry you got stuck with the aftermath, but it does make for a good story!

  9. Steven S. Walsky says:

    Spy thriller? “I’ve gotten a lot of calls for him from debt collectors.” Yep, sounds like Tom uses his old number when a number is required and he probably has a PO Box, conducts all his financial, etc. activities on line, and I would not be surprised if Tom even uses the Ex’s address. On the Viagra issue, could be a bill collector with poor technique, or more likely Tom gave the number to them as ‘pay back’ to his old office.

  10. Disarm someone with sassy catchphrases! Hahaha, wonderful. Not sure, but I would assume that in 2-19 business days, you will receive a self-destructing note warning you of the dangers ahead and of Tom’s secret ex-poodle named flopsy who is really the mastermind of the entire operation. The worst part? He’s an ugly poodle whom Tom never loved, so he wants revenge on him- on you, now, because you have his phone number, and that’s the only way he knew to contact Tom. Dun Dun DUUUUN.

  11. Hahhahahhahaha TOM is the guy who gave you the chance to do this write up that made my morn’n. ……….. And yes you have super-writting-powers

  12. “Dead Tom’s dead. Long John shot him!” “But Dead Tom’s always been dead. That’s why he’s called Dead Tom.” -Muppet Treasure Island.

  13. squirrel circus says:

    Ha ha! We’ve had the phone number of a closed Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for over a decade. Every Christmas I field a few calls for gourmet dipped apples. They sound yummy….and the callers are usually quite sad that “we” are no longer in business.

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