I’ve recently gotten a new phone for work and have been inundated with calls for the former owner of the number, which is annoying, but not nearly as annoying as the people calling who refuse to believe they have the wrong number. This is the transcript of one such call. (I’m transcribing this as I’m on the call because I almost can’t believe I’m having this conversation)
Caller: Yes, hello. I’m calling for Tom.
Me: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.
Caller: No, I don’t believe I do. This is the number of Tom.
Me: No, it’s not. You have the wrong number.
Caller: You are on medication are you not?
Me: No. I’m not. You have the wrong number.
Caller: You don’t have to be ashamed for being on Viagra pills. Millions of men are on Viagra pills.
Me: I’m sure they are, but I’m not a man. I’m a woman. And I’m not on Viagra pills and my name isn’t Tom. You have the wrong number.
Caller: Tom, this is an important notice about your Viagra pills.
Me: Again, I’m not Tom and I’m not on Viagra pills. You. Have. The. Wrong. Number.
Caller: I may have the wrong information.
Me: You do. You do have the wrong information.
Caller: What is your name? Are you on medication?
Me: Yeah…..no. I’m sorry you have the wrong number.
Caller: And you’re sure?
Me: Yes. I am sure. Have a good day. Buhbye.
I can’t decide whether to be offended that the caller wouldn’t believe I (a female) wasn’t Tom (a male), or to be flattered that he would think I would be so gifted at the art of deception. Yeah, I’m going to go with offended, but mostly because if I were a guy, I would not appreciate the insinuation that I needed Viagra. That shiz is not cool, amiright guys? High five? Fist bump? Farting contest? (I have no idea what any of this means…..)