Since 1994 their has been something missing in my life. Something I once cherished above all other things. Something that needs to re-launched. That something is Saved By The Bell.
Basically, every valuable life lesson I’ve ever learned was from Saved By The Bell. Sadly, kids, tweens, and somehow adults (like myself), are no longer able to learn the valuable life lessons taught by Saved By The Bell because no new episodes are being made. I mean, if it wasn’t for Saved By The Bell, I would probably be addicted to caffeine pills and unable to perform with my girl group. What kind of world would that be? I shudder to think about it.
People are always asking, “What’s wrong with kids these days?” and clearly the answer is they need more Saved By The Bell. So, in order to fix kids these days, I have decided to write new Saved By Bell episodes. Because I’m a hero.
Episode 1 of Saved By The Bell: Fully Loaded And Super New and BOOM.
(As a side note- all my Saved By The Bell: Fully Loaded and Super New and BOOM episodes feature the original cast. As they are now. In their 30’s. Because age discrimination is wrong.)
Title: Kelly Kills A Cheerleader.
Synopsis: Kelly is the head cheerleader at Bayside High…for now. Her leadership is up for grabs when a new student named Kitty Kapuletti enrolls at Bayside and challenges Kelly to a cheer-off. Even with all the extra hours of hurkey practice, Kelly knows she is going to lose her spot to Kitty. Kelly can only think of one way to prevent Kitty from becoming head cheerleader- kill her. Will the gang be able to convince Kelly that murder isn’t the answer? Or will Kelly’s cheerleader ambition cause her to do something that won’t look good on her college applications?
Spoiler: Kelly doesn’t kill Kitty. Kitty is actually a terrible cheerleader and Kelly easily wins the cheer-off. After the cheer-off, the gang goes to The Max and celebrates with milkshakes.
Favorite episode quotes: “Kelly! Murder is wrong. And you’ll get blood all over your uniform. Think of the dry-cleaning bill!”