And Now I’m Scared Of Trash Bags

You’ve been warned. The trash bag cometh.

A trash bag tried to kill Captain Thoughtful and me. This is a true story.

Captain Thoughtful was driving us back to Austin after a delightful weekend in Fort Worth, when all of the sudden something large threw itself at the car. We were both very startled. Even Captain Thoughtful, who stared down an irate gorilla, jumped a bit. Well, I should say Captain Thoughtful was “startled”, I more or less had a conniption in the passenger seat and came very close to sucking up all the oxygen in the car with my sharp intake of breath. It took us only a second to realize that the large thing that had thrown itself at the car was a very large trash bag. It took another second to realize it was stuck on the passenger side mirror and flailing loudly and desperately again my side of the car. Obviously, this trash bag was out to get us. Why would a trash bag be out to get us? Probably because of me, I’ve made a lot of strange enemies in my day and I suspect the trash bag was sent by Steven Spielberg as a vague and almost indecipherable warning to stop blogging about how much I hate aliens and dinosaurs and how I suspect he’s out to get me. Well, you’re going to have to try harder than that Mr. Spielberg, I’m on to your sick games and if it’s a war of ridiculous and completely nonsensical pranks you want, well buckle up bubba because I will own you when this is over!

Anyway, I just reached out to push the bag off the side mirror, which is pretty brave when you think about it and also you’ve had a few drinks. We laughed about it later but I certainly have a new fear-based respect for trash bags. Which is a pretty good lesson about life probably. Or not.

26 thoughts on “And Now I’m Scared Of Trash Bags

  1. “…who stared down an irate gorilla,” HA! (Why, I remember that!)

    This is terrifying, but also challenging me to come up with puns.

    Let’s just say I think you have this post in the bag.

  2. beck16 says:

    I can only laugh at this…hysterically!
    I get really very jumpy when things fly on or at my car. I’m not sure why because I know most likely protected. I’ve even been known to duck when a bird comes flying low towards the windshield.

    I commend you for your bravery!

  3. That is scary. I had a large piece of styrofoam come at me one time doing 65 mph and I drove sorta over it but the poor small car behind me hit it and had a styrofoam explosion. The tumbleweeds around these parts are ALWAYS out to get you and those suckers get HUGE – ha! Have a Great Day:)

  4. emmlaa says:

    You know what else is out to get us……coat hangers. I serious you think they are all chilled hanging around, being all nice and holding you clothing for you but noooooooo they take you by surprise and fling themselves off hooks and also get tangled with each other to piss you off. True story bro.

      1. emmlaa says:

        It is like they don’t realize that everyday objects that seem normal are planning to take over the world…forget skeletons in the closet coat hangers are worse!

  5. I got really annoyed with my cat one night, it was late I was tired and she just sat on the lawn starring at me I marched over to pick her up only to find it was a black carrier bag! THATs how you know you need glasses =))))

  6. Be wary of the trash bag – I can totally see the parallel between an errant plastic bag and Steven Spielberg. Have you checked your house recently for mutant ninja crickets? 🙂

      1. I’m on it!!! If anything comes sneaking around here, I’ll let you know. It’s a crazy world after all.. 🙂

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