When you date a Professor of Geography, you learn a lot of things. For instance, you learn that the band Journey was probably just a cover for serial killers. Captain Thoughtful (or should I say Professor Captain Thoughtful?) clued me on this one day when I was singing along (loudly) to “Don’t Stop Believing”.
Me: Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit…
Professor Captain Thoughtful: Did you know there is no such place as South Detroit? It’s just Lake Erie.
Me: Thanks for ruining the moment.
Later, as I was pondering on why Professor Captain Thoughtful would want to hurt me by questioning Journey lyrics, it occurred to me that he was right. (I may have looked at a map). But that he totally didn’t even realize that hundreds of thousands of people have probably drowned in Lake Erie looking for “South Detroit”. Then I wondered why I hadn’t heard of any PSAs about how “South Detroit” isn’t a place and that if you go looking for it and aren’t a strong swimmer you are totally going to drown in Lake Erie, and why in the world had Journey not released another song clarifying that “South Detroit” is really Lake Erie? Slowly, it occurred to me that Journey wanted people to keep making that mistake and drowning in Lake Erie, because they are ACTUALLY SERIAL KILLERS. This is there signature kill, and it’s really the perfect cover because no one would ever suspect them. Journey may be the most prolific serial killers in history.