The End Is Nie.

The end is nie!! It’s nie!!! How do I know? I know because many many people have found their way to my blog this week via the search term “I farted cats”. People are literally farting cats! Why isn’t this being covered by the news? Is there some kind of worldwide cover up? We need the truth people! There may or may not be a pandemic causing human beings to fart cats.

Or, you know, people are just searching “I farted cats” for fun. Either way, I think it’s pretty clear that the end is nie. Touchè Mayans, you really knew what you were talking about.

Updated: Yes, I know it’s “nigh” not “nie” but I’m not going to change it. So there.

29 thoughts on “The End Is Nie.

  1. I almost pissed myself from laughing so hard – loving that photo! What is it about farts and talking about farts that is so darn comical. My sides hurt. Have a Great Day – you certainly made mine a 1000 times better this afternoon:)

  2. Ha ha! You’re right – it’s got to be the same as pigs flying!

    I get “farting for pleasure” as a search term fairly often. Best search term this week at GoGuiltyPleasures, though, was: “you should have bought a squirrel”

  3. Sounds painful? Is it a recurring condition? perhaps the human equivalent of coughing up a hairball only we’re flatulating kittens instead of gas? What does this say about our dietary habits?

    I would hate to be their gastro-entrologist?

    “‘We have the results of your colonoscopy…you’re not going to believe this!”

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  4. I’m not sure about people farting cats, GotC, but I do know it’s “nigh,” not “nie” – although that may be the way Monty Python spells it. I actually wouldn’t doubt that.

    Btw, did you know that FART’s acronym is “Feeling A Rectal Transmission”? (Why are fart jokes so funny? And that kitten is priceless!)

  5. And now that the problem has been identified, you have to make sure you have suitable responses at the ready when one of these Cat Farters rips one in in an elevator:

    “I can haz match?”

    “Ok… who cut the Chesire?”

    “I’m smelling an SBD. Silent But DomesticShorthair.”

    “Hey.. somebody just floated an Air Bengal.”

    And in the unfortunate instance that you, yourself, should embarrassingly fart a cat and someone else comments on it – you can always feign an innocent expression and blame it back on them with the tried and true:

    “Hey Buddy…. The guilty dog barks first. At the cat. That was just farted.”

  6. “I told you. I said end of the world. And you’re like, “Pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.”
    “I’m so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.” -Buffy and Giles.

  7. I would be more concerned if people were farting kittens. All productivity would litterally screech (think high pitched gas) to a halt, because kittens are just too damn cute.

  8. What are you doing to me? I had to try a search. I wasn’t directed to your blog, but the search returned 132,000 results which I am now going to have to sift through! This will not be a productive day at work.

  9. I follow you in spite of farting cats – and btw, I downloaded The Bloggess yesterday – see the wonderful effect you’ve had on me?

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