I just joined Weight Watchers y’all. And while I’m excited to get healthier, I’m also mourning the loss of some of my best food friends. This post is my official goodbye (at least for a while) to those fat-filled amigos of mine.
Goodbye French fries. You’re probably my best fried friend. I love how salty you are and how no matter how bad my day was, you always managed to cheer me up by letting me consume large amounts of you and then releasing pleasure endorphins into my brain. Boy, we’ve sure had some great times, haven’t we? Remember that time when I was 1 and I choked on you? That didn’t stop us from being the closest of friends for 26 years. I’ll miss you the most.
Goodbye chips and queso. I will always love you. You’re the best snack turned into a meal that a girl ever had. Thanks for being delicious.
Goodbye potato chips. It’s true what the ads say, I never could eat just one. That’s why we have to say goodbye. I don’t know how to quit you. (Except in this case when I am quitting you)
Goodbye cupcakes. So delicious and fluffy and pretty. You were one of my favorite desserts. I loved our special times together, like when I would come home and eat 3 of you while watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Goodbye chicken nuggets. You’re so tiny and delicious and I will always love you. I’ll always keep the memories we had together close to my heart, like when I dipped you in barbecue sauce.
Goodbye ranch dressing. I put you on everything. You were always good to me and I’ll never forget what a delicious good accompaniment you are. You taste food on just about everything, never forget that.
Maybe I’ll see my food friends again someday. But probably in smaller portions.