On The Bright Side

Isaac Hayes

So, I have laryngitis right now, which is as unpleasant to experience as it is to spell. However, I’m choosing to look on the bright side. Why? Well, because as I understand it, the dark side is very unpleasant and maybe the bad guy who uses it is really your Father and that just makes everything uber-confusing and also aliens are involved somehow. I’ll stick to the bright side, thank you, and in that spirit, here are some good things about having laryngitis.

  • I sound pretty great singing along to Isaac Hayes. Can you dig it?
  • I have an excuse not to talk to someone I don’t want to talk to.
  • I can justify eating ice cream at any time of the day because it feels good on my throat.
  • I can imitate a man much better. It’s taken my mocking to a whole new level.
  • When I perform Kathleen Turner monologues from ‘Romancing The Stone’, it sounds way more authentic.
  • Prank calls just got a whole lot easier.

You know something? If this didn’t involve a sore throat, I think I would quite like laryngitis. I mean, if I sounded like this all the time I could totally start an Isaac Hayes tribute band without it sounding ridiculous. Alas, in a few days that will only be a far-fetched dream.



46 thoughts on “On The Bright Side

  1. Tammy says:

    Sad about the soreness of the throat, silly about the hoarseness of the throat -you’re just too much fun! You do know, don’t you, that when you have laryngitis you’re not supposed to talk….! Thanks for the fun read!

  2. D'Alta says:

    I am quite concerned about the juxtaposition of Isaac Hayes’ picture and your comments about the “dark side” and “bad guy.” I know that you wouldn’t intentionally want to imply that African American men are bad, unpleasant, evil. Perhaps you could speak about the upside and downside of having laryngitis and move the picture of Mr. Hayes nearer to your comment about being able to sing along with him. Just a thought to make your piece more readable…

    1. Oh my heavens! That’s not what I meant at all. Isaac Hayes *is* the bright side. The dark side/bad guy comment is a Star Wars reference- I thought that would be clear since it was also part of a sentence about aliens. I’m sorry if it wasn’t though.

  3. It’s also a way to get that sexy, smokey voice without the expense and health risks of actually smoking!

    Exnay on any afro-like hairdoos though, or else you could get mistaken for one of Marge Simpson’s sisters :). That poops all over any sexy-buzz.

  4. I hope you feel better…an Isaac Hayes tribute band sounds appealing, but it may just be your fever speaking in a come-hither voice..:-)

      1. That’s so true – but if you have to grow a beard and wear sunglasses all the time, it may detract from the come-hither voice, ya know?

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