I love pizza y’all. More specifically, I love pizza from Mr. Gatti’s pizza in Austin. And even more specifically, I love Mr. Gatti’s pepperoni rolls. They are like carbohydrate and saturated fat filled rolls of crack. I’m addicted. So addicted, that last night I ordered them for the second time this week and about the fifth time in the last two weeks. Unfortunately, I keep getting the same delivery guy which is awkward because this guy totally knows how frequently I binge eat pepperoni rolls and that’s very intimate information for a stranger to have about you. Usually, I can handle this awkwardness with grace and a large tip, last night however, the awkwardness took a nasty turn.
Pizza Guy: Really? Pepperoni rolls again?
Me: Uh…yeah….I really love those things.
Pizza Guy: You’re going to have to work really hard to burn all these calories off.
Pizza Guy: Wasn’t I just here Tuesday?
Me: Yes. I guess I can’t order from y’all anymore. I’m so embarrassed.
Pizza Guy: Yeah right. I’m sure I’ll see you Saturday night.
I can never order pizza again. That pizza guy ruined my taste for pizza or pepperoni rolls forever. Or, you know, until Saturday.