The Best In Spam This Week

Albery Einstein
This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Y’all, ever since I started posting regularly about the spam I get in my comments, I’ve stopped getting spam in my comments. Well, at least I stopped getting comment spam in English, I have continued to receive quite a bit in Cyrillic but it’s just not as funny. Finally, finally, I received a comment yesterday that was post-worthy.

“Thank you for this posting. You surely grease the shafts of knowledge with your information.” 

Y’all! Did you know the shafts of knowledge were rusty? I sure didn’t. We need to remedy this immediately. No wonder there are lots of bad things happening and problems we can’t solve- our knowledge shafts are rusty. How can we expect to get anything done with rusty knowledge shafts? Shouldn’t the rusty knowledge shafts alarm be going off somewhere in like a secret government facility of something? Why isn’t everyone freaking out?!

I mean, my blog posts can’t be the only thing greasing the shafts of knowledge. Y’all, it’s a really big problem and as awesome as I am, I can’t possibly be expected to fix it myself. This is beyond my considerable powers. Luckily for the world, I have a three-part plan. (All the best plans are three part)

1. Everyone should make a point to recite all the facts they know about everything all day.

2. Everyone should get paid to read books for at least 20 hours a week so they can learn more.

3. Repeat parts 1 and 2 until the shaft of knowledge is good and greased up and then all the world’s problems will be solved.

You’re welcome.

39 thoughts on “The Best In Spam This Week

  1. I had a spam comment from somebody telling me how proud they were of my writing and my blog. I was signed ‘love Mom’. Seriously, you think somebody would fall for spam mail signed love Mom?! Especially as I am English so it’s Mum where I come from?! FAIL.

  2. Your spammers are wise people! ha! I can see why you would want people to get payed for reading but I’m afraid they wouldn’t actually learn nor pay enough attention to what’s in their hands. They’d only be doing it for money.

    It’s like the books we are forced to read at school or college, we do it because we have to not because we want to. No pleasure derives from that.

  3. OK awesome!! I can do this!! Yesterday I learned that if you pour a can of coke-cola into the toliet, the acid will clean the bowl.
    Now I haven’t tried it yet but I will today. I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in a long time and the hubby is returning today. I need to make him think I have been working the whole time.

  4. “The knowledge gained from a computer is a – it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It’s-it’s there and then it’s gone. If it’s to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.” -Giles.

  5. Hilarious. And here I was worrying about global warming and health care. Maybe I should finally read that Alice Bliss book instead. (But since I just got the The Bloggess’ memoir, it’s not looking good.)

  6. “That’s what she said!” 😀
    I think your spammers are just stumped at trying to come up with original things to say to you, but at least when they do post, it’s a worthwhile comment.

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