There is a big election this year and I would like to submit my name for the prestigious office of Friend. Why should you vote for me?
I make delicious cupcakes
I’m a bee/wasp/yellow-jacket/anything with stingers magnet. If it’s around it will sting me, leaving you to enjoy your time outdoors in peace without worry. I take the stings for you.
I’m really good at impersonating people.
I always order dessert at restaurants so you don’t have to feel bad if you want to order dessert too.
It’s not hard to make me laugh. I will make you feel like you’re hilarious.
I’m good at mocking things and people when the situation calls for it.
I will never forget your birthday.
When things are awkward, I’m at my best. You will come to appreciate this greatly.
I’m a blast to have on a road trip.
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to distinguished service as your Friend.