Now My Spam Comments Are Just Being Rude.


So, I guess writing about my spam comments is a thing I do on Fridays now.  I hate to become predictable but I just keep getting spam comments that are just begging to be written about and I’m really bad at saying no when people-robots beg me.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how one of my spam comments asked me out. Apparently, they don’t all find me so irresistible because I received this one a few days ago.

“Dear blogger. As a blogger, you are not sufficient to hold my attention. I don’t mean to be rude but your blog is lacking content and your design is amateur. You should reconsider this blog.”

Then there was a link for Cialis, which as I understand it, is a medicine that helps keep men’s peens up and at ‘em for sexy times with their lady loves when they are both in separate bathtubs overlooking a cliff and holding hands. Because you never know when you will get those tingly feelings in your naughty bits even though you totally planned to. Anyway, that link is how I knew for sure it was spam and not just some naysayer trying to naysay me. Unless it was a naysayer who was trying to naysay me by insinuating that I have trouble getting an erection, which is totally uncalled for– way to be classy naysayer. And maybe this whole comment was just full of euphemisms about how I can’t keep my peen up. Let’s break it down by sentence.

“Dear Blogger”  I can’t really find anything wrong with this but I bet they wrote it with a sarcastic tone in their mind.

“As a blogger, you are not sufficient to hold my attention.” Are you calling my penis small?!! How very dare you!

“I don’t mean to be rude but your blog is lacking content and your design is amateur.”  Obviously this is a comment on the infrequency of my Marvin Gaye/Boyz II Men/Barry White times, and also I think a cruel slight on my downtown grooming habits.

“You should reconsider this blog.” They clearly think celibacy is my only choice.

Or, it could have just been spam and I took this comment way too personally for someone who does not, nor has ever, had a penis.

58 thoughts on “Now My Spam Comments Are Just Being Rude.

  1. I had my first abusive spam message today – I didn’t look to see if it was advertising anything because it was just weird, going on about my blog being “whiny” which is really bizarre, since it is about celebration, not about anything bad. So either a robot or a really dumb/malicious/both human, who knows … blessings be upon filters and delete buttons, lol.

    That Cialis spam you got tops it for weirdness by a mile, though!

  2. How dare they insult you like that without even check if you have a penis or not 🙂
    You are awesomeness for turning such a rude spam into something sidesplitting, yey you!!!

  3. Maybe that spammer only thought your blog design was amateur because you utilized mere goldfish instead of expensive/colorful salt-water fish in your theme. From a home-aquarium standpoint you goofed. How amateur indeed! Nice content though…

  4. love the “bath tubs on a cliff” comment – I always comment to my S.O. about how ED must be like dragging a truck through the mud, because apparently Viagra can fix that too – I think both companies could use a little marketing inspiration….or perhaps they have way too much inspiration – who knows…

  5. You contrary girl. I have to thank you. Because you talked about spam, I took a look at mine and, though they are no where near as interesting as yours, there were some poor people who were really rather nice, and mislabeled spam. That means five people have looked at my blog. Oh and there were a lot of sales stuff too. Without a charming picture, as is yours, not a single person has asked me out. Susan

  6. Too funny. Sometimes I approve spams that are nice and aren’t super spammy because I like creating the illusion that people like my posts enough to comment, even if they are actually “robot people.” In a strange way it boosts my confidence.

  7. stevesw says:

    At work I started receiving spam with linked discount pharmaceutical offers from my email address to myself; sadly, I did not offer the drugs to myself for free, but ‘I’ did offer to drop the shipping cost if I responded quickly.

  8. lol, well that’s just not nice! but at least your spammer makes a bit of sense. My most recent informed me “You remark so untold its near tiring to represent with you ” … um… thanks? or… i’m insulted? what? They are rarely coherent enough to make euphemisms about my ability to perform… though maybe that’s what they’re doing when they added, “City block, just large!”

  9. Grrrr… multiple broaches of comment etiquette in a single comment makes the caveman in me want to bash something with a rock. Rude, unconstructive, vague, and inaccurate critisism doubled down with a mistargeted spam link for a sexual enhancement product?… THE VERY NERVE!!

    I don’t know, GotC. I’ve got some pretty hard feelings toward this spammer right now. If they persist for more than 4 hours, I may have to see my Doctor immediately or permanent damage may result…..

  10. “If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not.” -Aslan, Prince Caspian. Granted, he wasn’t exactly talking about Caspian’s little Telmarine or Narnian sexy times, but still. Seemed appropriate.

  11. Well your blog is way more than sufficient. I’ll bet anything that spam was to try to get you to employ their services to make your blog “better” somehow. As far as the peen spam. Well enough said. LOL

  12. For about a year, I was receiving constant solicitations to enlarge my penis in my realtor email. After awhile, I seriously began to question my lifelong belief that I was a woman. Thank goodness, the solicitations eventually stopped.

  13. Gotta LOVEEE spam! I think abt this alll the time….WHY do spammers still spam?! No way the CTR is as high as years past (when ppl thought somone was intentionally sending them a link for Cialis!)

  14. I suppose the advertising spam was wasted on you, given your lack of male anatomy. Unless you need to buy Cialis for someone you know??

    My spam got all political on me and posted:

    ‘Hey guys, Is the U.S. far better off sticking to Syria’s Assad?’

    Not sure how this relates to my post on ‘Following your dreams…’ haha…

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