So, I guess writing about my spam comments is a thing I do on Fridays now. I hate to become predictable but I just keep getting spam comments that are just begging to be written about and I’m really bad at saying no when people-robots beg me.
A couple weeks ago I wrote about how one of my spam comments asked me out. Apparently, they don’t all find me so irresistible because I received this one a few days ago.
“Dear blogger. As a blogger, you are not sufficient to hold my attention. I don’t mean to be rude but your blog is lacking content and your design is amateur. You should reconsider this blog.”
Then there was a link for Cialis, which as I understand it, is a medicine that helps keep men’s peens up and at ‘em for sexy times with their lady loves when they are both in separate bathtubs overlooking a cliff and holding hands. Because you never know when you will get those tingly feelings in your naughty bits even though you totally planned to. Anyway, that link is how I knew for sure it was spam and not just some naysayer trying to naysay me. Unless it was a naysayer who was trying to naysay me by insinuating that I have trouble getting an erection, which is totally uncalled for– way to be classy naysayer. And maybe this whole comment was just full of euphemisms about how I can’t keep my peen up. Let’s break it down by sentence.
“Dear Blogger” I can’t really find anything wrong with this but I bet they wrote it with a sarcastic tone in their mind.
“As a blogger, you are not sufficient to hold my attention.” Are you calling my penis small?!! How very dare you!
“I don’t mean to be rude but your blog is lacking content and your design is amateur.” Obviously this is a comment on the infrequency of my Marvin Gaye/Boyz II Men/Barry White times, and also I think a cruel slight on my downtown grooming habits.
“You should reconsider this blog.” They clearly think celibacy is my only choice.
Or, it could have just been spam and I took this comment way too personally for someone who does not, nor has ever, had a penis.