I Resent That.

This kid knows what I'm talking about.

You know how when you need to go to the store late at night- like you have to go- but you have to put pants on? I resent that.

You know how when you are on a diet and then all your coworkers decide to eat something delicious but full of calories for lunch? I resent that.

You know how when you buy chapstick but it ends up making your lips more dry? I resent that.

You know how when you are on a great date and all night you’re anticipating the kiss, and then the guy doesn’t kiss you? I resent that.

You know how when you are about to go to bed, but then an awesome but scary movie is on, and then you watch it, and then you have nightmares all night? I resent that.

You know how you plan an awesome trip and then get really sick just days before? I resent that.

You know how you really want to post a blog but you can’t think of one funny or interesting thing to say? I resent that.

You know how when you tell a bad joke and then quickly cover it up by saying “wocka wocka” like Fozzie Bear but people don’t give you the same type of endearing devotion that Fozzie Bear gets? I resent that.

You know how you really want to keep watching the Band of Brothers marathon but it doesn’t end until late and you have an early meeting? I resent that.

Sorry to start the week off on such a grouchy note but I’m sick and well….I resent that. Anyway, feel free to join me in my resentment- people always say that light-hearted resentment enjoys company.

68 thoughts on “I Resent That.

  1. You know how policemen pull you over for going a mere 17 miles over? And then expect you to pay their salaries? I resent that.

    You know how whenever I feel I have finally met the most perfect girl and she turns out to be straight? I resent that.

    Or when I wake up well rested and feeling refreshed and roll over to discover I’m an hour late for wherever I’m supposed to be? I resent that.

    You know when a gorgeous guy asks me to dance and I have to tell him I have no internal rhythm whatsoever and must decline? I resent that

  2. I love you and you make me so happy and by me, I mean, me, any co-workers around me as I read your blog, and basically everyone I talk to for the rest of the day….-Amy

  3. I resent everything on your list and I’ll raise you some other resentments:

    You know when you meet a super funny, hot, witty guy and then after a while his girlfriend shows up-I resent that.

    You know old ladies who walk really slowly on the street in front of you making getting to places on time impossible- I resent that.

    You know when you have your period and feeling crappy and all your friends are off to doing something fun and outrageous but you can’t go- I resent that.

    You know when you’re being lied to your face and you know it but out of courtesy say nothing and keep listening-I resent that.

    You know when you’re running late and suddenly you’re out of hot water to shower- I resent that too.

    I resent a lot of stuff but nothing else comes to mind right now. When it does I’ll get back to you.

  4. This made me laugh. So i’m going to join in:

    You know when you have a big night out and you wake up and you’re like ‘ hey I actually feel great, not hungover at all’, then you get a bit excited and too active and you find yourself with your head in a bucket. A sneaky hangover – I resent that.

    When you buy tampons at the pharmacy and the pimply faced 15-year old boy doesn’t give you a bag, and you actually have to ask for one or carry them – I resent that.

    I’m also going to expand on your first resentment –
    “You know how when you need to go to the store late at night- like you have to go- but you have to put pants on” and then you get there and the chocolate you were craving and just had to have, is like 5 times the normal price cause the closest shop is a fuel station – damn I resent that.


  5. You know when you cook an awesome steak and your thief of a dog steals it off your plate while you’re getting steak sauce… Well I don’t resent that, my husband does because it happened to him.

    You know when your dog steals your husband’s steak and you have to cook him a new one… I resent that!

    Loved this! Especially the one about trying to write an awesome post but not having any ideas!!

  6. “You know how when you tell a bad joke and then quickly cover it up by saying ‘wocka wocka’ like Fozzie Bear but people don’t give you the same type of endearing devotion that Fozzie Bear gets?”

    Have you got a Fozzie Bear-esque hat on when you’re telling the jokes? For the successful delivery of a bad joke, it’s all about the hat.

  7. Ahahaha, bless you GotC! Not many can still elicit laughter even when they’re in their sick-bed. Hopefully eating yummy foods – sickness burns calories so you have to increase your intake at these times; I read it on the internets so it must be true!

    I’ve been working on a similar post myself recently but I think it’s a bit more angry than humorous, so I’m hesitant to post it. However; in keeping with your theme:

    You know how when you know the answer to a question at pub trivia, but another person on the team manages to persuade the group to write the wrong answer down through a seemingly logical (but still incorrect) explanation? I resent that.

    You know how you wake up in the morning so excited that it’s Friday and then you realize it’s only Wednesday? I resent that.

    You know when you want to write a really funny joke about re-sending an email because it’s so beautifully set up but then another reader beats you to the punch and you can’t just change it to be about regular mail because that’s the kind of joke that would need to be covered up by a “Wokka-wokka” and you’re no Fozzie Bear? I don’t really resent that. It’s just unfortunate.

    Feel better soon! πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks friend! And I totally feel you on the trivia one, I hate supplying the correct answer and then being overruled, mostly because it puts me in the awkward position of saying “I told you so.” πŸ˜‰

  8. When you are reading a really great book and only have about 50 pages to finish and you are so tired your eyes keep closing and all the words are blurry…I resent that.

  9. You know when you wake up after being sick the previous day and you feel absolutely fine, and then 5 minutes later as you’re putting on your socks and getting up, your body suddenly smashes you in the face with whatever you had previous? Not to mention 8 hours later during which you felt fine you begin to feel worse JUST as you hit the most stressful/busy part of the day?
    I resent that.

    Did you forget you were sick, body?

  10. You ever get a new flavor of Girl Scout cookies that are REALLY good and find out you can’t get them anymore because they “didn’t order enough?”I SERIOUSLY resent that GRR

    You ever have someone make you a treat to eat to make you feel better then find out, the hard way, that they put artificial sweetner in it because you’re diabetic but allergic to artifical sweeteners and end up in anaphalactic shock? RESENT big time!

    Ever go to the store to buy something specific, get home and unload the five bags of food, only to find you forgot the one thing you went to get? I resent that too!

  11. Teresa Cleveland Wendel says:

    You know how when you need to go to the store late at night- like you have to go- but you have to put pants on? I resent that.
    I once wore my nightie to the store because I didn’t want to get dressed. I accessorized it with a black belt with silver studs.

  12. you know how you’re all settled in your aisle seat on the plane, and the guy two seats over by the window is a hottie, and the seat between you is empty, and you look forward to maybe flirting a little, and then mr. tubbo, el lard-ass squeezes down the aisle and sits between the two of you and spills his fat rolls onto your space and totally blocks your view?……i resent that

  13. You know how when you’re just waking up and realize you need to pee like crazy and then your cat walks across your belly? I resent that!

    You know how when you’re driving and someone pulls right out in front of you even though no one else is behind you and then they drive UNDER the speed limit? I resent that.

    You know how when you’re in a hurry and you get pulled over for speeding and the cop then wants to lecture you after already giving you a ticket which is going to cost you at least $125? I really resent that because I was speeding for a reason…I was late!

  14. You know how when you buy fine chocolates or some other gourmet item as a gift for a friend, hide the box carefully away, and the person you live with (roommate, sig other, whomever), EATS the gift? I resent that.

  15. Holy crap! Everyone is sick in blogging world (myself included; I was fine yesterday, and woke up today with a leaky faucet on my face…wocka wocka).

    Feel better – and eat lots of calories. Doctor’s orders.

  16. Haha. I love this. You kno how when you are sending sm1 a picture tru BBM or Whatssap or facebook chat or skype or which ever chat and the file takes for ever to send but the text you write afte you send the file is already delivered and the person islike * huh? What was that?* yeah. I soooo resent THAT!!

  17. “…you’re altogether too full of bobance and bounce and high spirits. You’ve got to learn that life isn’t all fricasseed frogs and eel pie. You want something to sober you down a bit.” -Puddleglum, The Silver Chair.

  18. You know how when your co-worker signs up for a training class in “ethics” that involves him missing half a day of work leaving you alone to handle all field calls in a city of 100,000 people, and then when the class is over he has the balls to skip out on the rest of the day and doesn’t come back even though he’s being paid to be here?…. I resent that. Also, its ironic.

    You know how when your son-in-law starts having pain in his abdomen and you finally get him into the hospital after sitting around waiting all day on your day off for the doctor to see him, and then they say “It’s his appendix!”, and then they do the surgery only to discover it wasn’t his appendix at all, but then they take out his appendix anyway, because… hey we’re in here already, so why not?…. I resent that.

    You know how when your supervisor takes off work during the week and then lies on his timesheet and claims to make up the time on the weekend when his boss isn’t around but you know he wasn’t here because *you* were here working the weekend like you were supposed to without anyone to help – and he claims overtime pay on top of it all… I resent that.

    You know how when you send an email to someone, but you get the address completely wrong and it bounces back as undeliverable?… I re-sent that.


    Get well soon, buddy.

    1. Oh man! It sounds like there are shenanigans afoot at your office. Let me know if you need me to come down there and straighten those fools out- because I would.

      Also, your re-sent joke made me laugh on a day that I desperately needed a laugh. Thanks friend!

      1. Laughter *is* the best medicine – Although the pain meds they gave me when I had a kidney stone runs a pretty close second.

        I may have to take you up on your offer. You have *no idea* the level of shenanigans involved here, at pretty much every level. Personal integrity and honor are confusing concepts to much of the crowd I work with.

  19. You know when your bladder is about to explode and then your boss stops you by the hall to ask about random things just to fill the space with noise? I resent that.

    Funny post. Hope there’s gonna be a part 2 coz I know your list doesn’t just end here. πŸ˜€

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