I Think I Can Kind-Of Tell The Future.


I have some shocking news folks: I’m not a natural blonde. I’ll pause for gasps.

Composed yourselves? Good. I know that was quite a shock but you needed to hear it because it’s relevant to my story. So, I’ve only gone blonde in the last 9 months or so. It was something I thought and worried a lot about. I know it seems really silly to worry about something like that but I did. So sue me. My chief worry was that I would go blonde, meet the man of my dreams, and then have to be blonde forever because he had never seen me as my natural brunette. And going and staying blonde is expensive y’all so I was worried being blonde forever would take quite the toll on my bank account. I confessed my fears about going blonde to my friends and they convinced me I was being ridiculous, “Go blonde!” they said, “Don’t worry about it!” they said. So I did go blonde and I quite liked it and all was well until BAM my prediction came true and I DID meet the man of my dreams.

Obviously, I can kind-of tell the future and that’s pretty awesome. The questions is, what do I do with this newfound power? I mean, should I start charging people to tell them what I think might happen? Should I pitch my life as a new reality TV show called “Pseudo-Psychic”? OR…wait for it….what if I’m not really psychic but I have a special power that when I say things they come true? What if I made meeting my boyfriend happen by just saying it out loud? I mean, I literally said “I’m going to go blonde and then meet the man of my dreams.” and then it happened y’all. It happened.

I think I just need to take some time and figure out what all this means. I mean, sure it could be a coincidence but that would be too logical for me. I need the nonsensical explanation, which is that I am either a psychic or have some sort of power to control events by merely saying what I think will happen. Or you know, I justΒ accidentally fell into that one. Either way, maybe pay me to tell you what I think is going to happen in your life. That would be neat.

41 thoughts on “I Think I Can Kind-Of Tell The Future.

  1. Dear GotC,
    I too am in search of that special someone could you please tell me what color I should dye my hair in order to find him.

    A believer

  2. I believe in Psychic powers πŸ™‚ I don’t know if that’s what’s going on in your case, but either way, I’m really happy that you’ve met someone awesome! I think there’s a lot of power in putting our desires out into the world, so in the future, try to do that more often and test out if you’ve got some kind of power to bring good things to myself.

    In all honesty though, you probably just look really good as a blonde and he noticed. haha

    I haven’t commented in a while, but I still really love your blog! πŸ™‚

  3. Many many moons ago when I was in high school I used to know this guy who had an amazing way of stating the blatantly obvious and making it sound so radically fresh and exciting that you hung on his every word as if it was some brilliant and deep philosophical secret. Still some 20+ years later I can hear his response to your post:

    “Coincidence? Yeah, probably.”

  4. I think it may be dye-job linked prophecy , because I too had a similar experience when i went blonde. I said “I’m going to go blonde, and my kid won’t recognize me”. Well, what I didn’t know was that It didn’t refer to daughter #1, but that I would get pregnant with daughter #2 and couldn’t ‘undo’ the do until after I had her, and then subsequently she really didn’t recognize me and as a baby that was a hard thing for her (and me).

    it’s like Clarol-clairvoyance or something.

  5. To be honest I am a bit skeptical about these powers, GotC. I mean, there are lots of plausible explanations for the phenomenon you just explained…Could it be Murphy’s Law? Or simply the power of “blondeness” that gets boyfriends/man of dreams every time? (hhhmmm that would explain a lot of stuff in my life…), or that the universe rewarded you with the man of your dreams because it was high time you got him? At any rate, I think I would need tangible proof to become a convert so…What can you see in my future: the man of my dreams or a trip to the hairdresser’s? πŸ™‚

  6. GotC, I’m so excited you have realized the powers that blonde hair dye bestows upon the wearer. (BTW, I can’t even picture you as a brunette! But maybe my own inner eye needs a contact lense.)

    Oh yes. True love is just the beginning. Soon there will be Second Husbands and slap bracelets.

    1. Haha! I did love the blonde but I have to admit that as of two days ago I’m back as a brunette. I’ll post some pictures soon. Luckily, the dreamboat still loves me as a brunette. πŸ˜‰ I’m looking forward to the slap bracelets.

  7. Loving the post! Sometimes when you make one change in your life another door opens and something GREAT walks through it. Being Open to Life’s Possibilities is AMAZING. Now if we could get paid for that even better – ha! Thanks for sharing.

  8. Let’s see. Am I going to meet the man of my dreams this year?

    If you say yes and it eventually comes that would be neat! (and I would come back here and tell you how awesome of a psychic you are)
    If you say no and it does come true boooo!! You would loose a fan xDD haha (not really I would still come every once in a while to see what your blond hair is up to)

    Let the prediction begin! πŸ™‚

      1. I’ll make this easier for you. I promise to be your unconditionally fan no matter what your answer is deal?

        Now what’s your verdict women? I need to know!! hahaha

  9. A pretty blonde with magical powers that falls head over heels for a mortal man?

    Henceforth, in my imagination, The Man of Your Dreams is played by Darrin Stevens. Dick York Darrin…. not Dick Sargent Darrin. York was way better. Can you wiggle your nose?

    I’d like you to tell my future, but you didn’t quote a price for psychic readings. I *did* totally avoid any carpet/drapes inuendo in my comment, though. That’s gotta be worth something!

    1. I can’t wiggle my nose but I’m practicing real hard. πŸ˜‰ And yes, the avoidance of the innuendo earns you this prediction: “There are raccoons in your future…” That could be a metaphor but in this case, I think it means real raccoons. Of course, that could just be my knowledge of your awesome job…..

  10. I would like to help you because, ya know, I’m a very helpful person. We’ll do an experiment. Simply say that I will meet the man of my dreams and have no financial trouble…EVER. If it happens, we know you have the special power and I will gladly pay you any figure you wish (since I’ll have no financial trouble). If it doesn’t happen, you then could create a page to use your psychic abilities, charging $1 for each question asked. Do you know how much money you would make? People would pay the $1 because its only a $1 just to see what you would say. Craziness. Or….maybe you did accidentally fall into it. Then you would not make millions. That would be a total bummer. Regardless, I vote we try.

    1. I think we should try too. I’m sending out vibes to the universe that you will meet the man of your dreams and not have financial troubles right now! I don’t know how long it will take, it took about 4 months between going blonde and meeting the man of my dreams, so be patient with me. πŸ˜‰

  11. GoTC, as a Ninja Oracle I feel your pain and understand almost completely (I have no idea how much it would cost to dye your hair blonde for the rest of our life) what you must be going through.

    I think the best way to test whether you actually have this superpower (which I’m tipping you do) is to say things like “The man of my dreams will soon make a random romantic gesture to demonstrate his love for me and remind me that he is the man of my dreams”.

    Your power will probably have the greatest effect if you speak these words, say, while you are on the phone to your boyfriend, or even better; while you are together somewhere like at the bus stop or in the grocery store and you are looking him right in the eye.

    Oh, and I will definitely pay you if you tell me what you think is going to happen in my life! πŸ™‚

      1. I am partially psychic, as well. For example, I was just thinking about how a certain oracle, who shall remain nameless, promised me that he would use his awesome abilities to get me Fresh Pressed. I said to myself, “Self, Christian (oops!) once told you he had special powers, and it didn’t work out so well. Should you put your faith in GotC instead?” I scrolled down and what do I see but The Ninja Oracle himself. Yeah, I’m definitely psychic, too. Maybe you’re partially psychic like me: sometimes we’re right and sometimes we’re wrong, but we can guarantee 100% of the time to be one or the other of those. 100%, ya’ll!

      2. So, so true. 100% of the time I am either right or I am wrong. It’s foolproof! Also, give the Ninja Oracle a bit of a break, he works in his own time and it’s usually for the best. πŸ˜‰

      3. My dear Skipping, I know I made you that promise and I intend to honour it to the utmost of my ability. I will stop getting distracted by other things and will focus whatever power I may have into getting you onto that front page. You are well past due a stint in the Freshly Pressed spotlight.

        I can turn this around! Maybe!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s