Yep. Those Guys Saw My Bum.

Marilyn Monroe
Like this. But not as sexy.

The other day, I was walking into my office building and had my computer bag and purse slung across my shoulder. As I was walking in, two men ahead of me opened the door and stood aside so I could walk in the building first. It was very chivalrous. I did notice, however, that they had been chatting quite a bit before and now that I was walking in front of them had completely ceased talking. Curious. We all got in the elevator together and there was a very awkward and tense silence until they got off on the third floor. Curiouser.

I couldn’t imagine what had made those men stop talking so suddenly. Did they have an argument and were now giving each other the silent treatment? Had one of them said something so offensive as to render the other speechless? Were they playing the quiet game? It wasn’t until I reached my floor and stepped out of the elevator that I realized what had caused them to remain silent. I caught my reflection in the glass windows of my office door and realized my bags had apparently caught the edge of my skirt when I slung them over my shoulder and my entire right bum was exposed. I mean, not entirely exposed because I had on underwear but those guys definitely got a look at my bum.

Another humiliating win for Girl on the Contrary.

78 thoughts on “Yep. Those Guys Saw My Bum.

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Let me regain my composure….I’m okay now…Sorry 😦 was that too inappropriate? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry again, I mean it, I’m okay now…HAHAHAHA! I gosh, I can’t write a proper reply…maybe another day…HAHAHAHA!

  2. I’m going to see the Marilyn Monroe movie tomorrow (which Michelle Williams); will your bum be featured there, too?

    Also, they should really have said something, no matter how awkward! Right?? I need a man to weigh in on this.

  3. I’m so sorry that you went through that, but secretly happy that you did because this was such a funny post. And just in case you were wondering, no, my priorities are not in order.

  4. Once I was wearing a trapeze dress that went down past my knees, because I felt like being a modest church mouse, and a gust of subway wind totally made me flash a bunch of construction workers. They were happy, I was not.

  5. In an alternate universe:

    At the third floor one of the guys gets off, notices the other-the much better looking of the two- is still in the elevator and says, “Aren’t you getting off too?” He smirks and corrects, “I mean, isn’t this your floor?”

    “Ah, yeah, but I have something I’ve got to do first. Go ahead I’ll catch up.” Says the MBLOTT. The doors close and he leans over toward you and, with unimaginable gentlemanly decorum, deftly pulls your skirt down. Then whispers in your ear, “I just love the color red, don’t you? Would you care to meet me for lunch at the Corner Bakery? I hear they have nice buns too.”

  6. I was trying to think of a Narnia quote that would apply to this situation. All I got was that “a tail is the honor and glory of a Mouse” from Prince Caspian.

  7. Arjun Sharma says:

    LOL 😀 mustve been terribly embarrassing. but i admire the fact that you wrote about it. thats the spirit 🙂

  8. At least they didn’t laugh! They probably did afterwards tho.

    I remember this one time in a bar I hang out a lot there was this cute girl and same bag-skirt situation happened to her. My friends had a pretty good laugh and I thought is was funny too until I saw a guy crowd notice the situation and approached the poor girl and told her myself. Ohh poor thing she was so embarrassed I wanted to give her a hug and cover her up with my coat haha.
    Then I turned to those guys and said shame on you, ha they looked at me like I was an old lady giving them the speech v.v

    She thanked me 3 times that night and I got the old lady with a cat reputation. So yey me!

  9. We saw the same thing at Disney- camera bag made Mom’s touristy skirt hang up all the way from the train station to the castle. Hmm- that last part sounded like a euphemism, but I really mean the actual castle. At least your episode didn’t make it into a million ‘magical memory’ vacation pictures!

  10. Sorry you were em-bare-assed 🙂

    It’s not PC to say, but most guys dig this. Many won’t admit it, but they do. An incident like that instantly wakes up the 14 year old lurking just below the surface of most men. Its they way we’re wired. You made their day, if its any consolation. They don’t think less of you.

    That being said, I would have said something to you about your exposure had I been one of the guys. It would have been kind of awkward, not because I would be uncomfortable in the presence of your bum…. but because bringing it to your attention could make you uncomfortable.

    So you tell me – would you have rather they said something to let you know there was a wardrobe malfunction in progress, and if so is there a way to do it that causes you the least embarrassment possible?

    1. First of all, “em-bare-assed” is absolutely amazing and I wish I had thought of it. Second of all, I’ve been asking myself this same question and I can’t decide if it would have been better or worse if they had told me. I’m leaning toward being grateful for their silence because I was able to laugh it off completely. I’m not sure how funny it would have been if they had said something. Unless they said something funny….man, I really can’t decide.

  11. I bet they were all drooling at how sexy it looked 😀 … You go girl! Way to make em jealous!…… As if you didn’t do that on purpose 😉

    Ah what’s a girl to do but tease the guys a little 😀 lol! Especially when you got so much sexy going on 😉 ….

    You seriously made my day, not because it happened but because you were so unaware of it throughout. 😀

  12. “Were they playing the quiet game?”… Honestly, this would have been my first guess! On the bright side, your back side left the boys all speechless. It’s like a really embarrassing compliment!

  13. Searching for the Light says:

    This made me smile! I am sure you made their day and their silence was so they could fully appreciate the beauty of your inadvertent exposure. 🙂

  14. Comment 2:

    A slight set of deductions in in order here.
    1. You have a hell of a spirit, and that usually translates, proprioceptively speaking, into a hell of a walk.
    2. A hell of a walk is an awesome personal feeling and gets indulged in, so by now you have a hell of a walk + a pair of toned legs + toned bum to go with it. 3. Since you are so guileless as to ascribe innocent meanings to the silence behind you, you probably have a presence that is as captivating as it is arresting.

    Way to go lady, God Bless YOU and may you have the best of life thrown at your feet.

  15. I once crossed a major intersection in Toronto, in a wrap dress, sans underpants. Lets just say that when I tried to stop the reaction of the front going up, the back would take over – and vice versa.

    Also, I was 26 at the time, so it wasn’t like a cute little girl thing.

    I now I have a strong relationship with underwear and vowed never to leave them out of an outfit again just because I’m in a rush.

  16. Had this happen to me once at CHURCH (except I was not wearing underwear w/ my pantyhose!)…all ya can do, when life hands you this kind of situation, is just laugh! Have a great day!

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