In Defense Of A Blog

Alright y’all, I need to be serious for a hot minute. Usually, I wouldn’t even attempt to be serious but this is actually important. At least, it’s important to me and I really hope it’s important to you.

I love blogging and one of my favorite parts of blogging is interacting with all my followers and commenters. No joke y’all, you’ve brought so much joy and laughter into my life and have been a never-ending source of encouragement and support. It means so much to me, you don’t even know. You guys get me and that has been one of the best surprises of my life. I love that I can brain dump on this blog and say silly and ridiculous things and y’all are right there with me. I have such an amazing group of follower and commenters. I’m a lucky girl.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to be the case for many blogs. Recently, I’ve been reading more and more blogs and specifically, blogs that get Freshly Pressed. And I’ve been appalled. Not at the blogs themselves, but at the comments. Y’all, people have been writing some of the most obscene and hateful things in the comments section. Not just any people, other WordPress people. Other bloggers have been metaphorically shitting all over these posts. And I know that Internet vitriol is practically the standard at this point, but I didn’t realize how badly bloggers treat other bloggers, especially those who have gotten some exposure. I guess I always thought that the people writing hateful comments were anonymous trolls who didn’t understand how much effort and emotion goes into writing a blog, and how personal blogging is. I was wrong. I was dead wrong.  Because as I read comment after comment full of cruelty and personal attacks, I was aghast at how many of those were other bloggers, other people who should know better than that.

Blogging is deeply personal. Even if you’re not writing about yourself, it’s deeply personal. Bloggers are human beings. That may seem like the most obvious statement in the world but I think the dehumanizing element of the Internet has caused us to forget that. Bloggers are people. That blogger you were just calling an “ignorant asshole” because they don’t like your hobby? Yeah, that blogger could very well be the kind-hearted cashier at your grocery store who always helps you out  and has the smile that brightens your day a little bit. That blogger whose writing style you just referred to as “dumb as shit”, that’s your child’s pediatrician. Or how about that contrary girl blogger who you wrote “deserved to be raped” because she lives her life joyfully? That’s the same girl who held the door open for you when your hands were full of bags.

I’m not saying you have to agree with and support every blog you’ve ever read. Let me tell you, I’ve read plenty of blogs I thought were full of malarkey at best and simply hateful at worst, and you know what I did when I read those blogs, I just clicked off the site and never went back again. I didn’t write something obscene and anger-filled on their wall just because I disagreed with them. If you don’t like a blog, just don’t read it. Y’all, it’s really that simple. And sure, an argument can be made that by blogging, we bloggers are putting ourselves out there and so are open to attack. I don’t think that’s the case. Why should putting ourselves out there justify an attack? I put myself out there everyday by leaving my apartment and going to work, that doesn’t mean someone has the right to punch me in the stomach or shout obscenities at me. In fact, if that happened, most people would be horrified. You never have to attack someone, verbally or otherwise. And this isn’t to say that I don’t believe in frank discussions on blogs. I love going to blogs where you can find great discussions happening in the comments sections. People aren’t always going to agree and absolutely everyone has a right to express their opinions and feelings, but that should always be done with common human decency in mind. I don’t have a problem with a commenter saying “Hey, Girl on the Contrary.  I think you were way off on that one. I couldn’t disagree with you more for reasons A,B,C.”, however, I do have a problem with “You’re a stupid whore.” I will be apt to consider the first comment and will probably delete the second.

This leads me to my next point, when you’re personally attacking someone for a post that was opinion based, what exactly do you think you’re going to accomplish? Calling me a whore will not make me more likely to consider your point of view. So, why even do it? What is the point? I don’t understand what comments like these accomplish except for making someone (a real person remember) feel horrible, or making the commenter look like a vicious monster. It’s absolutely pointless and doing it benefits no one. Again, that is their blog, they are well within their rights to post whatever they want to about whatever they want to. It’s the point of writing a blog. And if a blogger doesn’t like your comment and doesn’t publish it, guess what? They are completely entitled to do that. It’s THEIR blog, they don’t have to publish anything on it if they don’t want to.  And they especially don’t have to publish comments that are personally attacking them or may be offensive to someone else. Their blog, their rules.  You may post whatever you like on your blog, although I would qualify that with, while you would be well within your right to personally attack another blogger on your blog, I would strongly advise against it because of that whole common human decency thing. Feel free to write a post that opposes theirs and give your reasons but keep it respectful and decent. Even if they weren’t respectful and decent on their post. Why? Because you are probably the better person. Be the better person.

Just be kind to each other. As bloggers, you know how much effort and emotion goes into writing, so be kind to other people who are putting that same amount of effort and emotion into their blogs. And if you don’t like it, don’t read it. It’s really that simple y’all.

112 thoughts on “In Defense Of A Blog

  1. I’m very sheltered and haven’t seen any as yet, but I have read a few posts that refer to this problem. I wonder what it is that makes someone write such things. Imagine the state of their stomach, with all that nashing and hatred. Imagine the rest of their life. Horrifying.

  2. Yesssss! I just started a blog and I havent gotten any comments but the blogs I have been reading have horrible comments like that. The whole time I was reading this, I was saying “Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!” out loud haha Thanks for writing this! 🙂

  3. Well said girl! Well said…its sad that it has to be put out there like that. I know I’m new on the block but that just woulds like “Blog Code” to me. But of course people get big and bad with their keyboard and don’t care that they rain on someones parade. Great post!!

  4. I’m glad you wrote this, and I’m glad to see so many comments in support and agreement. I’ve seen at least one uncalled for comment on your blog, but I’m thinking that the guy didn’t realize what he was saying. He certainly attempted to backtrack, but as I recall, Paladin kind of tore into the guy a little. I got one lady, very early on, who told me that my thesis was interesting, but my post was too long. Being really new to blogging at that time, it set me back mentally and emotionally. I was having, and still sometimes do have, a lot of self-doubts about what my blog should and should not be. It wasn’t even really a mean thing she said, but it was not necessary.

    I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t read many Freshly Pressed posts anymore. To be honest, I barely have time for the people I already subscribe too, so I’m scared I’ll find more blogs that I can’t live without. But there is another side, and that is the negativity in the comments. I love comments, I love the discussion after the post, the alternate and new ideas that arise. But I’ve read one too many Fresh Pressed posts with simply NASTY, MEAN comments. It ruins the experience.

    I agree that it’s best to just delete them. But the damage is done by that point already. At least the reader can be spared, though.

    1. Thanks! You’re so right about posts being ruined by the mean and nasty comments. It really does sully an otherwise pleasant experience. And you’re also right that it’s hard to get them out of your mind once you’ve read them- it definitely wasn’t very easy for me the first few times.

  5. thillegonds says:

    Good stuff to ponder. I’ve been on the receiving end of some of that over the years and it can be tough to deal with—especially when someone says it anonymously. Thanks for the reminder that even though the internet makes virtually anyone anonymous, we’re all still part of a greater community of real people.

  6. Amen! It seems today that people have no filter and feel they can say or do whatever they want. I wish more people realized that just because you don’t like something that it doesn’t mean you can be hateful, rude, nasty, or vile about it. You can have a differing point of view and discuss it as long as it is fair. But when you start slinging names and telling someone how stupid they are, it’s just pointless. I’m sorry if you have had those things said. You’re a smart and funny writer. We all deserve our opinions without being demoralized or dehumanized for them. This was a good blog. Thanks!

  7. I concur. It’s like driving, I don’t understand why people think its acceptable to be rude and violent anywhere, but it is everywhere. There is rage out there, and if people think they are anonymous, they vent it. It reflects the sickness of society. We need to realise that people who are treated with respect, act accordingly. it is political. It means allowing people redress to a properly run legal system, a fair system of taxation, and the opportunity to work for a reasonable wage. As as society, the West certainly needs to become more reflective, and less consumerist, caught up in the incessant need to have more of …what? Rant over.

  8. Well THAT was beautifully worded! – Well done GOTC! I’ve been ever of a similar mindset but far too meek to voice my opinion on the matter! It’s quite a sad and silly way to respond to something somebody has put effort and thought into writing – as much for somebody else’s pleasure as their own (for there is not a blogger who DOESN’T love writing!)
    Ignore the haters and please keep your writings up! – I actually love ’em!
    I conclude with a modest yet fully enthusiastic “You go Girl!” (and yes, that IS the first time I’ve EVER said that…)

  9. Well said. I have no time for comment trolls and other social media deviants. If I want someone to rant all over my blog posts I can handle that all by myself and and not have to read their atrocious spelling mistakes. 🙂

  10. I am unbelievably happy that you wrote this post, I feel as though I just drank several shots of espresso. This is an issue that definitely needs to be addressed, with all of the cyberbullying or whatever that takes place these days.
    I agree 100% with everything that you have said in this post. Life would be even more boring if everyone shared the same opinions, however there is a distinct difference between expression of one’s opinions and merely being vulgar and disrespectful for no reason. I believe the same applies in real life… Although I doubt that most of these people would say the same thing to your face as they would type on your site. Actually, that’s pretty much the same with texting, or even just talking behind people’s backs. It’s as though everyone will say whatever they want about you, as long as they are not saying it directly to you.
    I hope you weren’t awfully bored by that comment, you’ve probably heard/read everything I’ve just typed several times already, but I felt compelled to say something.
    …Humanity is screwed. At least we have coffee.
    Have a nice day 🙂

    1. No bored at all! Thank you for such a thoughtful and well-written comment. Everything you said is true, especially about people feeling free to say the most vile things…as long as they don’t have to say it to your face.

  11. Well done, girlonthecontrary! Thank you for this post. Sometimes I think we’ve lost the skill of debate and that few of us understand the difference between questioning a person’s point and attacking a person. Other times I think people are just assholes, as said above. The saddest part for me though is that, I think people do this sort of attacking because it works to some extent. Political attack ads, for example, are used because they actually change people’s minds. Until we stop that, I’m not sure what we can do about garbage comments, but garbage comments in fact go further so maybe I’m wrong.

    1. The issue definitely goes deeper than just blogging comments for sure. I think you make a good point that the fine art of debate has been completely lost- it almost always turns into an attack. What a shame.

  12. Like about 200 other people, I really both enjoyed and agree with this post whole-heartedly! I’m fortunate (and not widely read) enough to have experienced any hateful or vicious commenting, but I know it happens. I’m not even going to waste time trying to be eloquent about it or give people the benefit of the doubt – They do it because they’re assholes. End of story. I followed your blog and look forward to reading more from you 🙂 Also, I got one of those (usually annoying) chain post award type things…anyway, I made a reference to your blog if you’d like to see it. Don’t feel obligated for participate if you do read it. It’s just for fun and because I sincerely enjoyed your blog 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! And I have to say I really like the point you made about vicious commenters just being assholes. Not only did it make me laugh, but in most cases, it’s probably true. 😉

  13. Thanks for stepping out on this one. Its sad that some people never left the playground mentality behind. I appreciate bloggerd that are honest and expose their hearts and minds for us, it gives me courage when I post my drivelings!

  14. It doesn’t matter whether we all agree or disagree; frankly, life would be incredibly boring if everyone had the same beliefs and opinions. As you alluded to, the key point is that we debate and discuss our different ideas openly, and with a measure of respect and tolerance for others.

    The relative anonymity that the internet provides allows individuals to abuse, condemn and berate others without any justification for doing so. Technology gives these spineless morons a tool with which to incite hatred without any risk of repercussion.

    I hope this doesn’t seem like shameless self-promotion, but I actually wrote a piece on my blog touching on some of the issues you have mentioned called “Has social networking made us braver than we actually are?”.

    Thank you for a great post on a very important yet often overlooked issue.

    1. Thanks! Feel free to always link to any related posts. And you’re so right that the anonymity really plays into people’s dark sides. They are suddenly liberated from any social graces, tact, or respect because, at the end of the day, they aren’t going to be held accountable for it. Thanks for a great comment!

  15. I suppose I haven’t been reading enough ‘Freshly Pressed’ lately, as I have not been aware of this negativity-trend. And I’m thankful I haven’t experienced this myself. But if it’s going on out there, and has happened to you, it must be some form of jealousy. The times I have read Freshly Pressed blogs, I’ve often felt at a loss for words when wanting to leave a comment; there are so many positive praises, I feel mine will just be lost in the heap. However, when someone writes something that really grabs me, I just have to comment, even if there are 167 other “Congrats on being FP’d” already published.

    I don’t think I’ve ever read any post on your blog that I could imagine would stir up any negative or hateful responses…??? I guess some people just wake up in a cruddy mood, and feel the need to share that?

    You definitely got quite an active conversation stirred up today, though 😀

    1. I know! I love the discussion happening today- it’s awesome! I wouldn’t think my posts would stir up any controversy either but I guess some people can find something hateful to say about anything. I’m so glad it’s never happened to you though and I hope it never does! 🙂

  16. Thanks for your insight and blog. Those that need to verbally attack are actually weak and for them I feel great sympathy. I blog for me and the benefit is that I inspire others and for those that I don’t – well I am not holding them hostage and forcing them to read. Freedom of speech means just that and we all need to be respectful…starting with self-respect! Smiles….

  17. I agree with you 1000%! Yes, I did mean a thousand percent.

    I have noticed a trend of nasty comments lately, not only on blogs but on FaceBook as well as other public venues. I am fortunate in that my blog has very few (read 1) subscribers and not that many readers so I haven’t received any nasty comments (yet). Which, considering my subject matter, I sorta do expect. I hope that people who don’t agree with me and who want to be rude are actually hitting the little red “x” instead.

    Personally, I believe that people who write nasty comments are just insecure about themselves and have to say something nasty in order to “elevate” themselves above others. What they do not realize is they are not elevating themselves but rather giving others a low opinion. You just have to feel sorry for them and pray for them. And hit the “delete” button.

    I do enjoy reading your blog. Your insights and your sense of humor are welcome additions to my inbox any day.

  18. I agree whole heartedly. Disagreement is one thing – being rude and vulgar out of the blue is quite another.

    Couple of observations off the top of my noggin’:

    1. A lot of it, obviously, has to do with the anonymous nature of the internet and the (often) physical distance between blogger and commenter. Pre-Internet, I refered to the phenomenon as “Testoster-phone”, because I’d most often experience it over a phone line with someone as part of my job. 99% of the time if I meet the people face to face after the profanity laden chest thumping over the phone – they are much more subdued and polite in person.

    Partly because its just plain harder to be a douche to someone’s face for most folks, and partly because the potential consequences of such douchebaggery within arms reach are significantly higher.

    Guess I need to come up with a new name for Testoster-phone. One that keeps up with the times….. Cyberballz, maybe?

    2. “That blogger you were just calling an “ignorant asshole” because they don’t like your hobby? Yeah, that blogger could very well be the kind-hearted cashier at your grocery store who always helps you out and has the smile that brightens your day a little bit.”


    What I find disturbing, though, is that the commenter who made the “ignorant asshole” comment could very well be the nice young man that lives next door who smiles and waves to you every morning. It’s kind of troubling to see how many people have that kind of potential for thuggery lurking just beneath the surface. I’ve met wonderful people online, both as a commenter on blogs and as a blogger myself.

    The exceptions to that, though, make me question just how “civilized” we actually are under the surface – and how fragile that surface crust of congeniality might be.

    Awesome post, GotC.

    1. What a great response! Of course, that’s no surprise coming from you. I agree wholeheartedly with your points here. Whether or not it becomes a real thing, I’m probably going to be saying cyberballz for the rest of my life. 🙂 I love your second point in particular though, I hadn’t really considered the flip side of it- that the meanie online could be a sweetheart in person. Huh. I find that both enlightening and troubling, mostly due to your very well put point about the fragility of our surface congeniality. As always, thank you so much for commenting!!

  19. people do it because they can without responsibility or consequences. kind of like the direction our society has taken as a whole, as modeled by our fabulous leaders in washington…sorry…didn’t mean to get all political here

  20. LOVE YOUR POST – WELL SAID!!! If you have nothing nice to say do not say anything and click off. I have received some nasty comments and have gone to the point in my post “this is my opinion”. I should not have to do that to defend myself. Have a Great Weekend!

  21. Gilraen says:

    Thanks for this. I wholeheartedly agree with you. If you haven’t got anything nice to say just click away is the way I too try to use.
    Name calling is so uncalled for and so silly, yet hurtful.
    I have not had much in the way of nasty comments thankfully, but I know sadly the possibility is just around the corner.

  22. Whoa I didn’t realize that people were doing that especially to you and to such a large extent.
    Thats the dumbest thing ever.
    I had it happen to me once.
    I wrote me smart cars and how they are so stupid and useless. It was meant to be a joke but I got a bit attacked for it.
    I know only a few people got the joke so it didn’t bother me to much but your blog really makes me sad.
    I can’t believe people were mean to YOU!!
    Thats just so unbelievably dumb.
    And you are sooo right… if you don’t like it don’t read it.
    Thats can be applied to everything actually in life. People just go to the extreme.

    1. No worries! It hasn’t happened to me a lot thankfully, but it has happened a lot to blogging friends of mine. And you’re absolutely right that common human decency should be applied to everything in life.

  23. I had a day like that on facebook yesterday. Why do people feel that making others feel like crap is going to make them feel better? I just don’t get it at all. I have been really lucky and never had negativity on my blog, not that they would get away with it with me anyway 🙂 Happy New Year!

    1. I’m so sorry you had some Facebook verbal ugliness to deal with. When things like that happen to me, I just try to focus all the harder on the positive and supportive comments I get. “Look into the light” is basically my social media motto. 😉 Happiest of New Year’s to you!!!

  24. loved this. i recently started getting publishing on the huffington post…light-hearted commentary on being single, being a grown, intelligent woman who still has a soft spot for Twilight, and I received some of the *nastiest* comments I’ve ever read in my life. I’ve had those same thoughts – if you don’t like or don’t agree with what you are reading, you have all the power in the world to simply navigate away from that page! no need to leave some hate. internet trolls, indeed.
    love your blog! chin up, soldier. 🙂

  25. People are mean and stupid. I think even bloggers just troll the internet to say nasty things. There’s a lot of blogs out there I consider mindless. But I would never say that to them. It’s like when I volunteer for my kids’ talent shows at school. The children sing horribly and can’t dance to save their lives. But who made me Simon Cowell? I’m not going to actually say what I think. It’s called tact.
    I hope I don’t get intimidated by comments on my posts. That would stifle my creative flow. And did someone really call you a whore? I mean, only ex boyfriends would know that, right?
    Thanks for pointing out the simple importance of being kind to one another.

    1. No problem! I’m very pro-kindness. 🙂 And if you ever get an un-kind comment, definitely don’t let it interrupt your creative flow- those types of comments don’t deserve that kind of power.

  26. Great post, GotC. Not only are you witty and bright, but you are compassionate as well. Unbeatable combination.

    I have never had a hate-filled message on my blog, but then I also have never been Freshly Pressed either.

    I’m surprised no one has thought of the jealousy that eats away at the questionable souls of these troll-mouthed farkers. I’m sure that’s why they attack FP’ers with such hatred. Because someone else, with joy and talent, has been noticed for their abilities and raised above the crowd for a brief period. And these bloggers can’t stand it.

    They may (or may not) have been working on their blog and can’t understand why they don’t get such honors. Although if they asked me, I would be glad to tell them. So, they figure it must be some trickiness on the part of the talented blogger, and they react according to their tribe…with nasty language, vitriol, ain an attempt to bring the blogger down. It’s not hard to understand. It’s much more difficult to live with it or excuse it.

    Envy/jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, and eventually these people will pay the price. As someone of our fine group commented, they will appear like morons to compassion-oriented individuals. And they will go through their lives shunned and disrespected by the people whom they would very much like kudoes from. It will probably be a long and unfulfilling life.

    1. Very well said! Thanks! I never really considered jealousy as a motivation, but that’s probably because I’ve tried very hard *not* to think about their motivations because I was afraid of the rabbit-hole that would send me down. The way you put it, however, makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment!

  27. I don’t think i’ve gotten any nasty comments as of yet… then again, there isn’t a lot you can say that’s nasty about pictures of a big orange dog, and most of my content does tend to revolve around the fluffer.
    I really hope you never got a ‘you should be raped’ comment… that would be deeply, DEEPLY disturbing.
    Great post!

    1. Yay for fluffy dogs!!! If someone ever wrote something nasty about that sweetheart, then they would be the worst kind of awful.

      Someone actually did write that comment to me once, right after I got Freshly Pressed the first time. It upset me at first but I just deleted it and tried to focus on all the other positive comments that really mean so much more.

  28. Preach! People think that just because they type Anonymous in the name box that gives them a right to be completely and utterly disrespectful. I don’t get it. I still don’t even understand how some people get any type of satisfaction being just plain mean to others. This post should be Freshly Pressed so we all as a blogging community can keep these words in mind.

    Happy Friday, GotC.

  29. I feel like giving you a big HUG — you’re such a wonderful and kind soul in the blogging world. I know you’re feeling all of the love today, but I had to heap on some more!

  30. I too subscribed to your blog after I saw you on Freshly Pressed. I don’t think I’ve ever left a comment. Maybe I have, I can’t remember, but I read your blog whenever it pops up in my inbox.

    Thanks for posting this today. No one has the right to attack another person like that, blogger or otherwise.

    I haven’t received many nasty comments either, but like you, I won’t publish them if I do. I welcome debates, but not nastiness. Kudos for standing up to this.

  31. No kidding–the lolabees dentist blog is still getting vitriolic comments over her observations about her own job. Sports blogs about my Saints and quarterback Drew Brees (one of the biggest active humanitarians in the league) get met with comments like “Eat a d**k, Brees” or “Y’all deserved Katrina.” And to what end? Right on for sticking up for the community, GotC!

    1. That’s appalling! I’m so sorry! I will defend blogging and bloggers until the apocalypse comes and will be actively touting the cause of kindness and respect at the same time. And just so you know, I think you’re awesome and I even like the Saints. 🙂

  32. Very good post! I am a fairly new blogger and am just waiting for someone to throw down a nasty, rude, or otherwise inappropriate comment. I know that day will come, although it shouldn’t – it will, and it kinda sucks that I am even wasting energy worrying about it. I hope a couple blog bullies read your post and learn to click that litte red x at the top right corner of their screen instead of attacking the next time they feel the urge to belittle a blog or blogger.

    1. Try your best not to worry about it- if it happens, simply delete it and put it out of your mind. That’s how I handle it. It works pretty well for the most part, although I’ll be the first to admit, I have a hard time letting go of some of them. What helps the most is having so many more positive comments to focus on.

  33. Sadly because the internet is relatively anonymous some people think it gives them carte blanche to say whatever they like, things they wouldn’t dream of saying to your face. There seems to have been a lot of it on Facebook as well in the past few weeks, as though someone’s dropped a ‘nasty’ bomb and it’s infected everyone through their monitors. Sadly, there’s no cure for stupidity 😦

  34. *I love that I can brain dump on this blog and say silly and ridiculous things and y’all are right there with me.* Yes we are 🙂

    I can’t believe what you are saying, I mean do people actually do that? I have never seen a comment like that on mine or on others blogs so far. I feel sorry for people who write those.

    *Just be kind to each other. As bloggers, you know how much effort and emotion goes into writing, so be kind to other people who are putting that same amount of effort and emotion into their blogs. And if you don’t like it, don’t read it. It’s really that simple y’all.* Couldn’t agree more!!

    1. Thanks! Sadly, it would seem not only do people write hateful things, they do it frequently. I’ve been lucky and have only had a handful to deal with but I have other blogging friends who deal with it almost daily. Even when it’s not happening to me, it seriously bums me out.

      1. Of course and now that I’m aware it bums me too.
        Unfortunately just like in real life we have to deal with all sorts of people.

        I think it’s great that you didn’t ignore this thing and you wrote a blog about it demanding respect.

        Yey you! and keep it up cuz the world has some amazing people out there and we recognize awesomeness when we see it 😉

  35. I couldn’t agree with you more, GoTC! I cannot believe how many bloggers berate others, knowing exactly how much effort and personal feeling goes into so many blogs out there.

    Personally, I try to encourage other bloggers where I can because I love receiving that kind of encouragement myself. I’ll never understand what people gain from attacking the personal opinions (and in numerous cases the personal LIVES) of others who are looking to express themselves – sometimes opening up their innermost selves!

    It would be great if we could all support and encourage each other – or accept that someone’s opinion is different from our own and still respect them for that. At worst, as you said, we could just choose to look elsewhere if we disagree with someone’s posts…

    1. Thanks! I’m so glad that other bloggers I respect (like you) totally get where I’m coming from on this. It may sound very kumbaya but I would love for the blogging community to be one of support and respect. These blogs are little pieces of us and it’s important to treat them that way. And just so you know, you’ve been a wonderful source of encouragement to me and I can never thank you enough for it!

      1. Aww shucks, thanks! I just try to do my part to help create a positive, encouraging and respectful place for people to write – something which is made all the easier by having awesome people such as yourself writing brilliantly anyway.


  36. ‘I put myself out there everyday by leaving my apartment and going to work, that doesn’t mean someone has the right to punch me in the stomach or shout obscenities at me.’

    You’re a wise owl and an amazing blogger 🙂 xx

  37. Reading your blog comments sometimes feels like we’re all at a party you’ve thrown: you’re the host and the reason we all came, but it’s a good crowd to hang out with because we all have you in common and so we can feel at home with each other. We get to have this great party because you’ve got a good security policy on what comments get in, but it’s easy for us to forget that you have to answer the door to the evil gate-crashing comments as well as ours. I hope the hurtful ones don’t get to you too much and you can slam the door in their faces without too much concern.

  38. Dagny says:


    I came to your blog the first time when you got Freshly Pressed. I subscribed to your blog on my first visit… though I hope you will believe this… I have NEVER ever done that. I am not really the ‘subscribing’ type. 😛

    I have always enjoyed your posts. Sometimes I have commented, sometimes not. But I have always read.

    Today however, the manner in which you have written this, and the vehemence with which you have taken a stand… to say nothing of the KIND of stand you’ve taken… makes me want to give you a standing ovation.

    Please accept my kudos. Its a privilege to know you lady. You have just raised the human family’s ‘decency quotient’ a couple of digits higher… all by your ownsome… so to speak.

    Glad I subscribe to this blog. You rock gotC. Seriously… you do. Even though you speak a tad too intimately of apocalypses… which worries me cross-eyed. Still. You. ROCK.

    Bless you,

    1. Dagny,

      I got a bit choked up at your comment. You have no idea how much it means to me! I can’t even begin to put it into words. It’s readers like you that keep me blogging- your encouragement and support mean the world to me. And to think we don’t even know each other and yet you show me such kindness on a daily basis….it makes me feel like I’m about to combust with happiness. I am giving you the world’s biggest mental hug right now- I hope you don’t mind. 🙂


      1. Dagny says:

        Naah GotC, I don’t mind. I’m kinda used to it you know. 😛 A big mental hug back to you. May you remain a champion always.

  39. Preach! I couldn’t agree more, GotC. I had no idea things had gotten that way on Freshly Pressed post comments; that is inexcusable! It’s the reason bloggers have such a bad reputation in the outside world; they think we’re a bunch of loser-trolls* who ridicule others anonymously.

    *Nobody likes a loser-troll.

    1. Oh- I’m never short on sermons. 😉 It’s just a trend I’ve been noticing lately, especially on posts that are opinion or life based. And you’re right, loser-trolls are the worst kind of trolls. Luckily, for every loser-troll I’ve come across there have been 100 more magical happy elves who make things alright again. 😉

  40. Right on and well-written. I don’t get why people leave overtly negative comments on blogs, and I’m not exactly Pollyanna myself.

    Discussion I get. Disagreement, even. Support any opposing comments with clear arguments, not just spewed hatred that makes people look like morons.

    This is why I can’t review memoirs I read either, who am I to say someone’s personal thoughts in print are wrong?

    There are some people and ideas I don’t go along with. But then, I don’t have to read them.


    1. Thanks Lorna! I’m so glad you understand what I’m saying here. I’m very pro-if you don’t like it, don’t read it. It’s a lot better than getting yourself worked up into a hate filled rage at a stranger who isn’t going to change their mind anyway.

  41. Seems to be on everyone’s mind ( here of late. Listen, it is your blog, if you don’t like the comments, don’t give them any space, just delete them.

    They will go away. In four years I have only shut my comment section down one time and that is pretty good I would say.

    Where there is no wood … there is no fire.


  42. This is both enlightening and scary for me as a relatively new blogger, so, although I have been ‘ready’ I haven’t yet received any nasty stuff – I guess it’s only a matter of time?

    1. Not necessarily. Mine nasty comments have been few and far between and I know some blogger who haven’t gotten any, although I know just as many who get them all the time. I hope you never get even one!

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